The flame is now an ember

I’m consumed by the loneliness. I’m 36. Two medically fragile toddlers. Been through disappointment and heart break and more heart break since the age of three. I foolishly and naively put all the eggs I had left in one basket. Thinking “meticulously” deciding to finally take matters into my own hands. Start/create a family with someone I felt comfortable. Something I never really had of my own. Seven long years later. I now see I was blinded by my own hopes and desires. Currently. Undergoing a divorce. I initially hoped wouldn’t get to this place. Hoping he’d see, that were worth fighting for. Especially me. Yet, I’m reminded constantly how I’m never a priority. Never fought for or protected. Despite how much I always try. I’m at a point now, where I have no where else to turn. I have no girl friends. Really. Lots of guy acquaintances. None, that genuinely care for my well being. Why continue to foolishly ignore the obvious? Some things just aren’t meant to happen in this life. Despite how hard you try.