The one thing I wish everyone knew about me is ..........
@Tinywhisper11 that i´m avoiding vulnerability like the plague. While it is not too hard with strangers or through writing, i am incapable of expressing it verbally. Showing feelings like sadness or anger are extremely hard for me and i would rather deal with anything then admit something hurt my feelings. It doesn´t mean i don´t feel these things, i do feel them and very intensely. I just do not trust people to accept me with everything that i am
@sadcat13
this is similar to the post that Aqua made. You are protecting yourself, many people forget to take care of themselves so that's a good thing to a certain degree. What situations make you feel unsafe?
@BlackTurtleWoman25 pretty much everything where i have to show sadness or not being perfect
@sadcat13
It's hard to let go and show vulnerability, I understand completely. Especially if you feel as if you can't trust those closest to you to keep your thoughts and feelings in a safe place in their heart, a safe place where you and they can share freely without fear or feeling as if it might be used either against you, or to their advantage. But there are people out there who can be trusted. Use discernment-it's built into all of us. Be safe, and be happy! 💛
@sadcat13 aww honey that brought a tear to my eye😥 I'm so sorry you feel like you have to hide your feelings🙁 please know I love you and I'm always just a tag away💖 hugs you tightly 💗I love you 💗
@Tinywhisper11 thank you. It means a lot to me 🌻
@sadcat13 💖💖💖
@Tinywhisper11
🐦⬛ That I often lie or twist my words to hide vulnerability: to everyone, friends, family. And even myself. I want everyone else to be happy and not worry about me. If things truly get bad I try to trust my body to react on instinct and tell someone. But if it's not critical then I don't want to be seen as weak or have people think they can take advantage of me, my emotions, or reaction over something.
@AquaNyo303
You are cautious, and that's ok. What emotions or thoughts that come up make you feel guarded or vulnerable?
@BlackTurtleWoman25
Anger, anxiousness, sadness. Anything of the like
@AquaNyo303 🙁 it's not easy to always keep the mask on😥 but thank God we have this site where we are free to be ourselves 💖💖 hugs you tightly 💗
@Tinywhisper11
Free hugs? Yes please! Cookie? 🍪
@AquaNyo303 thanks for the cookie😋😋 next time I'd like icecream please😋😋😋
@Tinywhisper11
Okie! 🍦
@Tinywhisper11 Another thing I wish people understood about me. I often feel like I'm falling apart, both emotionally and physically. I wish people understood why and what is going on with me. Everyone feels so distant. Also as people get to know me, they seem to pull away. It is like they can only stand happy people who share all their common interests or you mean nothing to them. You can tell by what I just wrote that I'm not in a good place mentally. Currently I'm really tired from work, and I'm also having some other physical problems. I think some of it is allergies making it harder for me to breathe. It seems that my body is trying to fight something off, cause last night I was experiencing bed sweats, and couldn't sleep like I should.
@tryingtosurvive2024 🙁 I'm sorry people make you feel this way 🙁 hugs you tightly 💗💖 I hope you feel better soon, and get lots of rest today 💖
@Tinywhisper11 Today I am trying to get rest, and I've been asking some people, online, for prayer. Still got the jitters. I'm scared.
@tryingtosurvive2024 hugs you tightly 💗 I'll pray extra hard for you💖
@Tinywhisper11 I need peace to come to my thoughts. 2001 I had a nervous break down. It was like a circle of emotions turning in on each other. I don't want that to happen again. I need something to calm me down.
@tryingtosurvive2024 what about talking to a listener?? Or perhaps getting some hot tea and watching some tv??
@Tinywhisper11 perhaps talking to your doctor?? Or taking some time of work?
@Tinywhisper11 Work: I only have 2 personal days left. I got sick time if I fall sick. I tried talking to a listener, and they wanted me to talk to a professional. I can't do that because my Mom controls my bank account. Parents are not onboard with me getting therapy online. They are not very trusting of that sort of thing. However my Dad has been praying for me, and has suggested that I start filling out job applications. Today I asked for one at the grocery store. They gave me a card telling me where to fill it out online. Tomorrow, I need to go a store to UPS some items. When I am there, I am going to ask for an application there too. We are trying to get prepared for the chance that I might need to quit my job soon.
@tryingtosurvive2024 I'm currently watching Atlantis on Amazon.
@tryingtosurvive2024 I think a new job would be good for you 💖 I'm sorry your struggling so much sweetie 🙁 I wish I was there to give you a real hug 💗
@Tinywhisper11 I agree, I have been praying for a new job for years. My parents were not on the same page, but since the issues at work have come up. To my surprise, my dad is now on the same page. You see the school has reduced how many of us there are. As a result we had to cut corners on our work load. The new boss wants to make things "better" but in order to do that, He's got to get me to do more work for him. I'm already at my limit. So if He tries to add one more thing to me, then I will have no choice but to quit.
Over the many years I have working for the school, things that were not fair, happened to me. I had no control over them. People took an advantage of me. Currently I'm struggling with a broken heart, due to a relationship that I didn't even try to be in! That is how much power those over me have. The rules allow them more liberty to say and do things that I'm not allowed to say or do. So I just submit so that I don't get into trouble. That's a big issue there, I'm constantly scared of getting into trouble.
I have a hard exterior but a very very soft and emotional heart. If you show me enough kindness, there is a good chance I'll fall in love with you. But once that happens, that love needs to be respected. The person I'm referring too, won me over, and then started acting bad to me.
I don't want to scare you off with the concept of "falling in love". I don't always mean "romantic love". But you know how it is, when two people are being nice to each other and they share with each other, an attachment starts to form. That attachment, known as friendship needs to be respected. If a boy and girl are in a friendship, there is a chance that it could turn romantic. If it does, then those emotions need to be respected too. But for some reason there are people who seem to think it is fun to mess with another person's heart and emotions. That is what happened to me! I think it was abusive. It something else that I need prayer for. I need my heart and mind healed from what happened.
@tryingtosurvive2024 🙁 I will keep you in my prayers💖 your a sensitive guy and that's ok 💗 you are loved here💖
@Tinywhisper11 "your a sensitive guy and that's ok" that is probably why some women call me "sweet". Thank you for your prayers. 😍
@tryingtosurvive2024 you are definitely sweet 💗💗
@Tinywhisper11 I actually enjoy being sweet, and even being called sweet. But it wasn't always that way. When I was a boy being called that made me feel weird. But as a man, when I get called that, I feel like I have done something right. I made someone happy, and that makes me feel good too.
@tryingtosurvive2024 well I'm glad you changed your mind 💖 cause you are a biggg sweetie pie pudding face💖💖
@Tinywhisper11 I try to write and say honest and accurate stuff. Just tell my life stories the best I can. When I think it's needed. It is sorta a mechanical way of doing it with emotions thrown in. But often times it is the emotion of pain that does the prompting. I often get called "sweet" when I'm doing something that I think is logically right thing to do. If this doesn't make perfect sense to you, my brain is feeling a bit jumbled right now. This happens to me often, anyways.
Last night I doubled one of my blood pressure pills. It's the one that slows my pulse rate down. I used to be on an anxiety pill, which I no longer take or have access too. I'm NOT exceeding the dosage that my doctor previously had me on a few years ago. I'm just trying to keep the effects of my anxiety down, so that I can rest better today.
@tryingtosurvive2024 ok but don't double the dose to much😕 maybe going back on anxiety pills would be good for you right now. I think having a conversation with your doctor might be the next step forward💖 hugs you tightly 💗 did you manage to get any rest??
@Tinywhisper11 Getting a hold of my doctor is not an easy thing to do. You call them up and then you are put on hold for a long time. Sometimes you even need to wait for them to call you back. To see him, one then must make an appointment, and then it is a fairly long drive to get there. In order to do all of that, it could take several days to get things set up. Also my parents would not approve of it until I'm in bad enough shape. If I have an actual break down, then they would consent to all of that.
I got rest today. The extra pill isn't hurting me. I monitored my blood pressure, it's at a good level. Probably better than it has been. This isn't the first time in my life that I've had to do this. It isn't the first time that my job caused it to happen to me either.
There are a lot of people at work, who don't understand how much stress they put on me. They only understand their world.
Currently I just want people to pray for me, and talk to me.
I'm upset with my religious views. Years ago I was fairly happy with those views, but now I'm learning to see things from a little different angle, and now I'm feeling regret for what I had gotten myself into. More than that, I promoted views that I will no longer promote, cause the evidence seems to be showing me that those views were wrong. I'm still a Christian, but I got a different way of seeing things than I did last year.
@tryingtosurvive2024 religion is a very personal journey for us all 💖 everyone's beliefs and faith should be respected by everyone 💗 a doctor appointment seems like a no go for you, just keep an eye on yourself ok? Ok a new job is your next thing to figure out, at this point anything would be better than your current job💖
@Tinywhisper11 The problem with Christianity is that we got a lot of false teachers. I'm not saying that all of them are teaching wrong things on purpose. But the damage is the same either way. This might sound bad to some people, but I've burned almost all of my Christian books. I also used to listen to a lot of Christian podcasts. Many I have stopped listening too. Again, it isn't that everything they say and encourage is wrong. But there is usually a little something off here and there. Sometimes just that little something is enough to get a person to start down a wrong way of believing. I was on a path that I didn't even realize I was on! But through research on a different topic, lead me into figuring out that I was on a bad path. My goal is to finish up a thing or two, and after that my plan is go back to the way I did things when I was younger. Bible only. I'm sad over the fact that I never seemed to be able to be helpful to others. I feel so stupid. Stupid all the time! And that isn't just with religion. I've been struggling mentally for as long as I can remember. It seems like no matter how hard I try to get on top of things, I always come up short. That is why I don't try to help people real often. It seems that they are more times than not, better off without my help.
@tryingtosurvive2024
Believe me, you are not alone in this. I don't know what's happening with your health, or your doc, but as far as the religion is concerned, so many of us have been down the same path. I used to be what I would almost call a Christian Zealot, I taught my kids to be that way, too. However, after reading about how Jacob wrestled the Angel and wasn't afraid, also he wasn't struck by lightning just for questioning-I began to look into other interpretations and I have learned a lot. And, I have discovered a lot of the human-corruption that has happened over the years, unfortunate.
"Seek and ye shall find"; "The Truth shall make you free" 💗
And, I'll add a paraphrase of my own, God loves those who don't give up. 🫂
Know that we are here for you!
@BlackTurtleWoman25 We have a gospel confused Christian cultures. It's hard to believe since the gospel is such a simple truth of Jesus making a way for us to be right with God! We start our Christian journey by first putting our faith in him and accepting his forgiveness of our sins. But so many have figured out clever ways of turning that into a works based salvation. Or they get people's eyes off of Jesus completely, and onto some other aspect of the Christian religion. When things are not in there proper order, things get messed up really quickly. In Christianity, if you don't get the gospel right, then nothing else matters.
*In the Bible, "gospel" refers to the "good news" of Jesus Christ's life, death, and resurrection, offering salvation and forgiveness of sins to those who believe.
How I’ve changed from the old me. The growth the evolution of my own personal identity. My new rules, new boundaries and new perspectives. The journey was a process and didn’t yield immediate results at times along the way, but I am who I am now because I walked my path and stand as I am today a better person, imperfect as I am but striving to continue 🩵
@Brittknee99 seems like you've come along way to be the person you are today 💖💖 good luck on the rest of your journey 💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗
Not sure if it's meant to be a fun or serious one, but I'd say everyone should know that I care and notice everything.
@UchihaRyuga it can be serious or fun 💖 that's great qualities to have 💖💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗
That I matter
@MyGenderIsForg yes you do 💖💖 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗💗
@Tinywhisper11 happy birthday @PineTreeTree
@Tinywhisper11 i can't understand emotions thru text
@Nummypanda ahh! Yes no one can, that's why I use emojis alot😁 gives you a giant tiny hug 💗
I'm here for you to listen. Feel free to reach out.
@HopeAura awww that's sweet 💗💗 hugs you tightly 💗
I need love😭😭
@sweetGrotto4205
