Trigger warning. My ask for help
Say alone in a cold dark cage,
Knowing they will be back soon
I really wish someone had cared someone had known
The pain I was going through.
Memories of a haunted past bring visions to my mind
Trying to heal my inner child, who had been left behind.
My story not completely told, many secrets I have kept.
I sleep with the door locked, curled as closely to the wall as possible,
You took away my innocence left me disabled and scarred.
I was just your toy to scared to even speak
When I say I'm sorry, it still feels like
Please don't hurt me.
How do I close theese wounds?
How do I stop the pain? 😢😢
@Tinywhisper11
well , sorry to hear about what happened until now but isnt it possible to just ignore the pain and create new memories in your life in order to wipe off the previous memories?
@Skansly yeah. That's actually what I'm trying to do. It's been almost 4 years since me and some others were rescued from that horrible place. I'm trying to move on I really am ❤
@Skansly
I wish it were that easy. :(
@jesusredeemedme2425
it actually is , to make new memories you need a close person, a destination and few photos.
@Tinywhisper11
I would love to help you if you will let me. You can feel free to vent with me and everything you say will stay between us
@CalmCup43 🤗 that's very kind Thank you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Of course girlie!
@Tinywhisper11
Whatever happened to you, you didn't deserve.
I truly wish I knew how to offer to be there for you on this site other than just in comments.
I can relate to one thing... People can't care if they don't know. They usually don't know until it's way too late. To this day, there are parts of stuff I've been through that I've never told. Even if I did, they almost definitely wouldn't be understood. Anyway, if you have any more to say, I'll listen.
Well. You don't stop the pain. And don't ignore it. Never distract yourself from what will lead you to the source. Observe and sit with it. Embrace the pain to find peace with it so that when it rises again you would not suffer it so greatly. There would be a separation between you and the pain, no longer identifying with it.
In other words you don't stop the pain and you don't close the wounds, that happens during something else. Acceptance. With distraction there is prolongation of the problem. With meditative and mindful practice including contemplation and the awareness of thought the wounds begin to heal when one learns what it is to accept. It would be like bending and returning to your shape like bamboo. Instead of suffering the past in the mind you will learn to endure as all the elements do. For me... I have learned that it is selfish to myself for not allowing myself to shine in the darkness because of my fear of what might be hiding in it. Give yourself a chance. Despite all your past trials here you are... Alive. With the privilege of remembering anything at all. You are breathing. To forget the beauty of the present moment is to dwell in the imaginary times we call the future and the past.
@BodhisattvaKuato bohdi when did you become so wise 😋 I love you bohdi ❤ thanks and I am trying I really am
Attachment to the past. That is the simplest way to put it. To be emotionally invested in the past is to rob yourself of the present moment. When a person desires change they are invested. To desire the past to be different is wishing for it to change which means there is an investment in the past. It doesn't matter if the past is pleasant or unpleasant. Either way dwelling in the past victories and defeats robs you of the present moment. To become truly present is sweeter than any past achievement because it will make you more aware of the importance of neutrality. Stability.
@BodhisattvaKuato ok I understood that one 😋 yeah I guess your right ❤ but I really am trying to get my head out of the past. It's just very hard
Practice mindfulness. Bring attention to your awareness. The more aware you become of what it you will be less concerned with what was. Practice being aware of your breathing. Bodily sensations, sound and sight. When you eat pay attention to what it is you're eating and how. Practice doing one thing at a time. That is how you become more present, it takes practice. There is no simply letting go.
Thinking of you and hoping you found the support you wish for. I think healing happens once we have compassionate caring listeners/witnesses. You have a beautiful gift for writing. Thank you for bringing it here. Your strength in healing will be a bright light for others. 💓
@Tinywhisper11,
I wish I could find the right words to say to be able to help, but I know nothing I can say could possibly shift the pain you’re feeling, but I do want you to know that you are never lone. I am so proud of you that you are trying to take yourself to a better spot! Its really commendable for you to reach out for support. You always deserve it and it's always available when you need us. Huge hugs (if it's okay)
@Tinywhisper11
What bothers me is that I'm aware of this happening now, but I have no idea how to help fix it. :( Except for donating to causes that work against sex trafficking. What can we do? <3 Any thoughts?
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'd like to know too.
@jesusredeemedme2425 @Torean I have no idea😥 I'm not supposed to speak up about this, some information I can't give out, cause I'll get in trouble. There are lots of charities, and people who's jobs are to help as many as possible, and try to put an end to these things. But truth is it won't end, theese things go right up to the (not allowed to say word, on 7 cups) 😥 there's just so much of these things happening all over the world. I've met and talked to quite a few others here who have gone through similar things, but they don't post their stories here out of fear😞 the law enforcers and people who work in this field are over righted by the (not allowed to say word) 🤔🤔 (trump, boris, people, )who are enabling this to carry on, it won't stop😥 guilt of knowing and seeing what happens to people like me, says me up inside. There's nothing I can do
@Tinywhisper11
I can kinda fill in the blanks, I've done some of my own research too. I feel like we're getting into an age where destroying these things can be achieved though. Like, little by little, things are coming out about things, such as things that were going on with Nickelodeon. The public in general is ready to turn their backs on anything like this.
I know that the general public doing that, in this case, might not even make a dent because of the nature of it. People are upset about with powers that be in general also though, and there's a certain island that a lot of people went to that's been under fire for good reason. Younger generations are exposing corruption everywhere that they see it. I'm a big fan of gen z, they won't stand for things like that.
So, I think it's just a matter of time. I'll help speed it up if I get the opportunity. I wouldn't want you saying anything that makes you have to deal with more than you already do. I just... As deep as it goes, it has to end somewhere. I just want you to know that it's not all hopeless, especially when people are starting to care.
@Tinywhisper11
It's a really hard matter. What they need is a mix of awareness and subtlety, so people know about it, but the bad people are clueless about any busts about to happen. Then more people will know, and more people will be rescued.
(I hope that was coherent lol)