Want to change personality because unhappy with self
I was wondering if we can open a thread and try to change from being introverts to extroverts and provide support and validation if someone puts in efforts to change themselves.
Is anyone else unhappy with their personality right now? I’ll give my example, I used to be a charismatic person in my childhood, people liked me and I was the centre of attention and I had confidence to be myself without any worries.
Now I’m a socially anxious, depressed person who is jealous of extroverted people and also don’t know or understand social cues and people since I don’t know what to say or what to do which would be done by an extrovert.
So was wondering if we can open a thread specifically to provide support for this kind of thing
Hey @spectacularCandy789, I hear you're feeling upset about the shift in your personality, from being an extrovert then, to becoming more introverted now.
It is more than valid to feel upset, or even jealous seeing other people having the time of their lives, doing things we would only admire from afar and wish to do someday also. **
I personally feel it's a broad spectrum, and we may use these labels to define ourselves or anyone else, but they say we carry the entire universe inside, so is it ever really "definable"? Perhaps not. It is okay to be as we are, while ofcourse acknowledging the areas of improvement, and trying our best to be our better version, whatever this "better" means to *us*, everyone else's opinion shouldn't have to matter as much. It's valid to be *you* always.
I commend you for creating this thread to share and seek support for the same, as you acknowledge what you feel could be better, and trying to work on it.
** The wish here, could be used as a driving force to assess our needs, and wants, and to answer the "why" behind, why would we want to be like a certain someone, and then a "how", how can we get there. What do you think?
We are always evolving, adapting, learning, and growing, so yes yes, it is very much possible to continue moving on this path. Wishing you loads of luck and best wishes.❤
Thank you @Sunisshiningandsoareyou. I understand what you are saying and agree with it. I’ve also worked on the last questions you said but it’s not been possible to completely change myself. Don’t get me wrong I have always been a quiet person since childhood, but it’s not of any benefit to me. Even then I was liked but I was more socially secure and confident in myself even if I wasn’t loud or extroverted or full of energy. Sorry it turned into a mini rant again lol but thank you for the detailed reply I’ll think about what you said
@spectacularCandy789
Aye aye it is okay to express how you feel, doesn't have to be right or wrong, and feel more than welcome to share your thoughts, rambling is fine lol. ❤
I understand how it seems like there's a shift between being socially secure and feeling confident, despite being on the introverted side at both times, and it is okay for you to not change yourself, we only gotta keep getting better and becoming better, and this "better" will always be decided by us, not those around us, so you're allowed your time always, and come to your own realizations of becoming better. You are valid today, and you'll be valid tomorrow, nobody gets to question that ever, okay(?).
Glad the message resonated and you're very welcome. ❤
@spectacularCandy789
I don't think you should label it as introvert or extrovert. It's fine to be an introvert, personally I love introverts (I am an extrovert) but if you feel it is causing you problems then you can develop yourself. I wouldn't say change because ultimately, I don't think we do or should change who we are but we can develop. The same way you learn skills in life for other things like your job or your pastimes you can learn skills with people
@Mark7766 I agree it’s a skill but I don’t know why I’ve been finding it very hard to develop this skill. I’m fixed in my ways since childhood and I’ve always told myself I don’t want to change / develop myself. I just want someone to push me or hold me accountable for this. Thanks for replying
@spectacularCandy789
because you are emotionally attached to being that way. Maybe it has to do with your parents and the way they treated you or expected you to be?
@Mark7766 you hit the nail right on the head 😯 My mom has always expressed how she wants me to change so I've always told myself I don't want to and I haven't been able to because of this
