Why can't i accept myself?
Why can't i accept myself?
Today, i got asked a question which still is lingering around my mind.
'Are you addicted to the pain?'
It was a question related to my chronic pain but that question hit all my nerves. I had to think before i had to answer the very same question.
The fact that i had to think twice before answering the question made me realize how i just cannot get past my suffering.
I like the pain. I like pain. Physical or mentally, i find it comforting. It makes me feel like i am not alone.
When i am in severe physical pain, i think about my mental health so that i have a wide variety of things to think about and forget the pain.
When i am in mental pain, i think about my physical pain to get rid of the pain that's been causing me to be a loser.
Why are both my pains interdependent on each other?
yes, i am addicted to the pain. It makes me leave the reality i am in and go to another world.
I am addicted to the pain because i dont want it to leave. If my pain leaves, so does my chance to enter the other reality
@loyalBlueberry7653
Wow this is an amazing breakthrough many may relate too if they had to face that question in their own situations.
@loyalBlueberry7653
I'm not expert or psychologist but I can relate to what u said and feel it so I wanted to say this to u..
We all have our ways to escape reality specially when it's too much to bear but for me I finally understood that it was because i didn't see myself deserve to be loved... i couldn't forgive myself even for tiny little things... that was why i kept accepting all the pain and find a way to escape reality... let me assure u that it will be better when u accept yourself with all the flaws and weaknesses and care about yourself :) i mean u already took the first step and it is questioning yourself and wondering why this is happening 😊 so please stay curious and ask yourself more about u and be honest with yourself like u did in this post 🙂 the more u find out the answers, the more u know yourself and then care about yourself and eventually u will accept that u deserve better 😍
Sorry if it was long , I truly wish you to be happy 💛
@Tauriel98
Thank you so much ❤️ your words mean a lot
Just know that ur not alone in this world and there are people like me who can understand u! There is nothing wrong with u So don't take this opportunity out of yourself and don't distance yourself from others :) 💛
Sorry you are going through this. I am sure you will find your way and be happy.
I never experienced this, but what I can tell you is that going through your pain by yourself it’s hard and create a sort of addiction to pass through it (your other pain). Speak to a friend who would be there for you. Sometimes we just cannot go through problems by ourselves, we are human beings. We need someone to show us love and support us during our darkest time. And I know it is hard to seek for help (someone may say it’s a shame), especially to friends, but they will not judge.
The fact that you already wrote something here is already a good step ahead! Well done :)
@mrkmgll
I really have to find someone to talk to haha. Some disadvantages of not having friends. But thank you so much. Your words mean a lot to me
I know it’s hard! Let me know if you want to talk :)
@mrkmgll
Thank you so much but i wouldn't wanna burden you :)
You dont!
@loyalBlueberry7653
Although I have chronic pain issues, I too find that I seek physical pain when I am in mental anguish. The physical pain disrupts the mental pain. I can't say that I was addicted to pain though, I think it was more a case of I was so used to it, that it was a 'safe place' of sorts.
@nongelic
I hope you get better ❤️
@loyalBlueberry7653
I understand how you feel because I admit that to myself. I feel comfortable when I am sad. My inner psychological pain makes me in need to allow myself to feel sad. Sometimes our bodies and brains need to express this pain or instead it will be buried and may cause explosions after some time. It is not bad when you say you feel comfortable when you choose to feel pain. It is comforting, but it would be more comforting if you decided to avoid the causes of this pain. These causes as negative thoughts, you can change them to positive ones by journaling or other methods. The feeling of relief from allowing yourself to feel pain can be a great step to get the greatest relief from positivity.
I hope you feel good about yourself soon and always.