Why does it still get to me?
About two months ago, the relationship I was in for the past 4 years ended. We are both divorced from previous marriages and met online. Things were good during the relationship but we were on different paths. She’s on the fast track to freedom 55 (which is early retirement) and wants to move to a more temperate climate and travel extensively when she’s there. I’m not anywhere ready. I don’t want to hold her back so we decided to go our own ways. It was hard to do but probably better in the long term.
During the course of our relationship and even more so at the end, her replies to my texts were often slow/delayed. This was her nature not just with me but with her friends as well. It was just accepted that that was just her. I haven’t been in touch with her for a few weeks now, but we agreed to stay in touch from time to time especially since we had personal belongings at each other’s places.
Although I know our relationship ended and that she’s slow to reply, I messaged her just recently to arrange to pick up my things and to drop off her stuff. I see that she’s read my text but haven’t gotten a reply. I should be used to it as it’s expected but why does it bother me so much that she seems to be ignoring me? I’m my view we didn’t end things on a bad terms or anything but it feels like she’s brushing me off and I don’t know why. I know I shouldn’t even care and move on but at the same time I really don’t feel like I deserve to be treated this way.
Sorry for the wall of text. I just had to get it off my chest. I have no other outlet.
@1in8billion
It is very frustrating when a person just wants to arrange something to get the items exchanged...
You realized she was slow in replying before but perhaps her hesitation this time is knowing that this is the end ......... people in breakups civil or messy sometimes hang on to tiny threads of what if.....
i would politely text her again suggest a time to exchange items....
@1in8billion
reading your wall of text , the heavy feeling you have now is based on how much time have you interacted with her on a daily basis ( daily interaction builds up a strong bond ) . next comes you have to decide when you wish to let go of that memories or continue with it.
if you want to move on , bringing back your things and eliminating any trigger points that makes you remember her becomes a must .
in case you wish to cherish those memories , white it down somewhere in your personal diary and forget about it . in future at least you will be able to read and laugh about it.
once you are done with it and get back with your life , the heaviness would be lifted.
@1in8billion 2 years on from me, still causes me intrusive memories and pain. I haven't left the house for 1 year
