Work Environment

I been working at Amazon warehouse for 10 months and still is and I do get the normal feeling that I hate the job and lazy to go I recently noticed this time being different.

I started of working inbound stow department I do enjoy it but sometime I don’t because there’s always big boxes and pa coming up to me to either say to go fast or i did something they don’t like which is small tiny “mistake”. Anyways, I recently transferred to outbound pack and I thought I will enjoy it but turn out I don’t. I guess I dont feel comfortable surrounded with people is small space and can’t have my own personal space. But that’s not the case since I’m use too it and it’s not the main problem. The main problem is I can feel eyes looking at me and people around me judging me especially when they see me struggling and being weak. Not only that but I know which I hope it’s not truth and I’m just overthinking but I get a weird feeling the pas (people who’s in charge on the floor) don’t like me/talking crap about me of how slow pack. I already can tell one of them don’t like me because I encounter with him twice and he just brush me off and pretend to help me out when ambassador (people that trained new worker) is around. Last week I went to work for pack and he saw me coming from a far and quickly told me to go to stow and at first I couldn’t hear him cause he was far so I came close and then he repeated again so I said ok and left to stow. I felt weird like im probably hated in pack. But ever since I started working at pack my mental health became bad. I get anxiety and start to silenty panic when I have to go to work and sometime I can’t even sleep and cry myself begging god to make every job week a good time for me but most of the time it never come true. I even became aware of my weakness and question my purpose in my life and wonder about my future. I be honest I been thinking a lot lately of maybe there’s no future for me and question it to god. Right now I’m crying while writing this because I don’t have no one to talk to about this and I’m just scared of going to work especially meeting the same guy who don’t like me or some of the pa who also be giving me weird vibe. Has anyone that work at Amazon ever experienced similar situation? I feel like I’m the only one who slow in the building and don’t fit working there but that’s the only job who hired me .