a very important and long question

which of these experiences do you think has been the most pivotal in the teenage guy (O)’s life?

girl 1 (N): the first love. age: 13-14

freshman year of high school, she was his first love and the first girl he truly felt something for. from teasing each other in class they both started liking each other. it was innocent, puppy love, the kind that makes you happy. he drove to her house once at night to say hello, he’d walk around with her at the school hallways, he loved her. she was the bubbly popular girl and he was the popular athlete it was a no brainer. she was soft and social and he was soft  and affectionate when he was with her. despite her chubby body he found her beautiful. he broke up with her at the end of freshman year for his own reasons but did try to get back together with her later on. they remained good mutuals across high school..no problems no bad blood. she takes care of his younger brother and they both wish each other a happy birthday every year and remain supportive. he might have some lingering feelings towards her since she’s the only girl he dated that he actually loved and was affectionate towards. he’ll go back to her if he had the chance but is not actively going after her. he tried to a few times but let it go eventually, he was jealous of her boy best friend but still maintained a good friendship with him. in senior fun days he usually splashes her with a water gun, they laugh and giggle and chase each other. it’s warm and comfortable and happy. they’re true friends. he cares about her and her opinion of him, he might still love her…he definitely cares for her in a special manner contrast to everyone else and has genuine tenderness towards her and i don’t doubt he misses her.

girl 2: (D): a small crush that started in the beginning of sophomore year, he found her attractive and pretty. they laughed and got along well. it ended in less than a month

girl 3: (J): he met her in sophomore year, she was the bad girl, the sexy girl who has been around clubs, parties, raves and has had countless experiences with boys and men. she got him into smoking and brought him into the life of the party. it was a wild ride, a turbulent one filled with conflict, ecstasy, anger and excitement. did he love her? no. but it was fun and it was an adventure and she made him realise his true toxic masculine power. they used to skip class together, hangout after school, smoke and vape together and just be reckless he dumped her eventually as the year passed.

girl 4: (Z) he also met her in sophomore year, she was the quiet, small, baby faced reader who always had her nose in a book. he started the year with her on the wrong foot, accusing her of staring at him. she stayed quiet and let it pass and after that he started for some reason being really nice to her. opening doors for her, leading her to classes that she didn’t know the directions of, he would get shy and extremely stutterish…barley being able to utter a complete sentence without stumbling and avoiding eye contact. he was too kind to her..so kind that people noticed he would open doors for her, quiet down if she told him to and would never dare to raise his voice at her like he did with anyone else. they’d smile at each other, blush. it was shy but filled with tension. they’d graze hands accidentally and get extremely nervous when passing each other but of course…people noticed. girls who liked this guy began spreading rumours about (Z) bad rumours that centred around her being “obsessed” with him and psychotic. it reached him eventually. he did nothing but their connection faded momentarily though still gentle he too began to find her weird or at least pretended to he began dating (S) the girl who spread the rumours which i’ll mention later. after that junior year began and he transferred schools. (Z) texted him and cleared her name and he broke up with (S) then and there. the following winter him and (Z) got close..he was very affectionate and soft he’d vent his heart out, he wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable. it was soft, gentle but extremely delicate. he was afraid of rumours, wary of what people may think. he said his i love yous to her and she said hers. she was the first to wish him a happy birthday and their bond was sacred and secret but filled with vulnerability. all good things again come to an end and she began to backtrack from flirting out of fear and he began to backtrack due to the fact he wasn’t sure what was going on. he left her. the following month he visited the school carnival and saw her; she had glowed up and grew her hair out. she was always pretty and youthful yes but she was a whole other level now: dressed in angel wings and white lace. he followed her around, kept her eye on her, walked around with another girl. he tried to text her a few days later and accused her of talking about him (she didn’t!) she explained herself and he softened but this time: she left. they didn’t speak again until senior year when he transferred back and willingly transferred to her homeroom and forced his friends to move there with him. first week back and they got into an emotional and loaded argument that ended without resolution. she was surrounded by guys who wanted her and was incredibly close to her guy best friend. (O) hated her guy best friend and began getting physically violent: shoving him, pushing him, insulting him. he would get really nervous around (Z) run away when he saw her out of nowhere, but get into her personal space without noticing. he started, she stared. from mocking her and making her life terrible to being soft sometimes it was loaded and unpredictable. no thought things quiet down, they’re not over. he tried to unblock her but was met with rejection, he knows how beautiful she is now but is determined to ruin her life yet still protects her. he looks at her when she shows her body in tight chiffon, he reacts to her. but sometimes he hides it really well. but every interaction with them no matter how small is very charged. he doesn’t shy away from longing stares, staring at her deeply and immensely when she’s with her guy best friend. he’ll splash her once on senior fun days to get her attention and she’ll splash him back. no giggles no aggressive just silence and loads of water gun loading.

girl 5: (S): she was (Z)’s fake friend. he began dating her in the summer before junior year. it was very surface level and text-based. from teasing each other and laughing at school to arguing and fighting over text. it was toxic and momentarily. it passed very fast and had no love.. just boredom. they often talked about (Z)

girl 6: (M): his childhood friend and neighbour. he’s known her his whole life. they’re not dating and never were but (M) clearly likes him. he uses her for test answers and cheats and flaunted her around at the carnival fair in front of (Z) they know each other well, their bond isn’t broken and won’t be broken. it’s stable, safe and surface level

girl 7: (H): he started dating her during the beginning of senior year. she’s a year younger and very beautiful. she’s mature, sexy, has had experiences with guys. he didn’t mind touching her and being a little more intimate with her than anyone he’s ever been with. he walked with her in the halls, hung out with her during break but their bond lacked love and affection and basic respect. he didn’t respect her at all and treated her terribly. he ended up cheating on her with her cousin (Y)

girl 8: (Y): he began dating her in the first semester of senior year. she’s in the same homeroom as him and (Z) she’s tall, athletic and has a big role in school celebrations and marketing. she’s not pretty by any means but she can grant him roles of spokesperson, main speakers, the social media spotlight and more. again there’s no love and he doesn’t respect her. she chases him and he lets her, he tells her to shut up and she does, they joke around and talk in class and laugh a lot. it’s safe and again fun but surface level. (Y) also hates (Z) and joins (O) in hating on her and ridiculing her.