boy issues / past friend-ish
Hey guys,
I’ve came on here before about this guy I used to like and how I was stressed about not seeing him my senior year blah blah yeah okay so…
Im in my first year of college now whoop whoop! The problem is we both go to the same college now and the tension is greater than ever. We are not on speaking terms probably for a year now bc I ghosted him for many reason like how he was using me for his grades and how he only knew how to text me when it benefited him and not me (I can’t believe I used to have feelings for him lord help me never again) So basically I kind of silently cut him in senior year and I didn’t say anything to him but I unfollowed on all social media without explanation because I feel like he doesn’t deserve one and if he really wants to know then he can’t figure it out on his own. (Like hello put your thinking cap on). Tbh he’s so petty now that he knows I’m avoiding and it makes it worse that we go to the same university and have 2 classes together (the universe is not on my side). I don’t sit anywhere near him and basically refuse to make eye contact or have any sort of interaction with him because I don’t want to go down the road again and get my feeling hurt all over again. It took me so long to get over him and I’m in a good place now so I don’t want to ruin that. BUT we both have a lab and we always accidentally meet at the elevator and if he goes in the elevator I will gladly wait for the next one with no shame. But this has been happening too often and I feel like now he’s using it to embarrass me if front of ppl sitting in the area. Today he made me so mad because of course I had lab today and I was walking to the elevator and I spot him sitting at a table doing work I guess so I was okay and can get on the elevator with no issues. SIKE because as soon as he see me getting to the elevator he quickly gets up and speed walks to the elevator first knowing that I won’t get on if he gets on. But it’s just the fact that he had to be so petty and run to the elevator so I couldn’t get on. At that moment, I was like god knows I’m a good person because what is stopping me from getting on the elevator now. Like what’s he going to do? But I left it alone and waited for the next one but it was just the embarrassment of ppl watching like why is she not getting on the elevator. Needless to say I’ll be taking the stairs from now on. I’m trying not to make it obvious to others because it’s not like it should affect them but I know he’s telling ppl in class which I don’t really care about but I knows he’s painting a bad picture about me which is not right. I swear on my life, I have never said anything bad about him to anyone EVER. Nobody from my high school even knows. I always acted like we were still cool and respected him the way I wanted to be respected. If anyone were to have brought him up I would just smile and nod. I’m being the bigger person and letting it go because it’s not worth it. I don’t want to fix our so called friendship (it didn’t feel on me) because it’s not worth fixing and we will just go back to how it was in high school. And I know he probably thinks I’m not talking to him because he basically rejected me when I had confessed that I had liked him but if that were the case I wouldn’t have continued to talk to him for a year straight after so…
I know I’m rambling, I apologize but this just happened today and it makes me mad the he could be trying to sabotage me possibly. But really all I want is peace of mind and not having to worry about some boy from the past that now clearly hates my guts now.
Lmk what you guys think of the situation and any tips moving forward!
~ Lauren ;)
@Laurenjehu Hey Lauren! I totally understand your frustration from your description it does seem that he's doing these things deliberately and I can totally see how that might be both annoying and inconvenient for you. Feel free to find a listener if you need to more frustrations off of your chest <3
@Laurenjehu
No need to apologize for rambling. You are welcome to ramble all you want. We won’t judge you for anything.
Relationships, they are a constant giving and taking. We should strive for a balance in with it. One of the ways to have balance is with a level of understanding on expectations for all parties in the relationship. When this isn’t being met, the relationship will suffer, the people in the relationship will have issues.
You are your own expert and no one knows you better than yourself. Additionally, no one can make you do anything or feel anything. You are your own master. Everything else outside is a perspective. And perspectives are developed from their awareness and understanding (Made up, true, false, or otherwise). In my experience of being in a similar situation (the receiving end of it). He may very well not deserve any explanation, but would you not agree the right thing to do is provide some kind of reason?
Not saying anything or talking negative about another person is a good and noble thing. What goes in will come out. You are the better person for it. Stooping down to that level, can be petty and nothing positive will come out of it.
Avoiding toxic people can be a good thing. There are those kinds of people that can bring out the worse of people.
Why do you think it bothers you?
Sorry for replying so late, I been busy with school. But I think overall the situation bothers me because he’s someone from
the past that I can’t seem to get rid of. All the people that I’ve used to be friends with I left behind when I graduated high school and I was hoping that would be the situation with him as well. I feel like the more I try to avoid him, the more I keep seeing him and honestly I hurts because we used to be friends and I used to talk to him everyday but ultimately I had to leave because the whole friendship didn’t feel genuine and he was the type to only talk to you when he needed something but not the other way around. I
know the truth will eventually come out and I afraid of when that time comes because there isn’t anything that could prepare me for the whole thing. I hope he’s understanding but I can also understand if he wants to yell at me or something but I only
did it to protect my mental health and to be free of him.
@Laurenjehu
No need to apologize for focusing on school. We will be here when you have a chance. And we wont judge you.
I am happy to hear you have prioritized your self-care, It is most important to protect yourself.
Do you think there will be a time where you can see him and it won't bother you?
I mean I do see him almost everyday since wee do share some classes together so there is nothing I can really do and it doesn’t bother that he’s in my proximity, it’s just that it’s really awkward and there is nothing to really say to each other at this point. If we were to ever talk this whole thing out, I still would choose not to be friends with him because I think im in the point of my life that I’m a forgive and move on person. I don’t want to rekindle any friendship bc it’s will 100% go back to how it was before and I wasn’t happy back then and I know I won’t be now.