Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

broken college freshman

User Profile: greenLake430
greenLake430 November 11th, 2024

When I moved to college a few months ago, I was nervous about making friends but was optimistic I would just need to be patient and that it would get better with time. I moved schools in high school and it was really hard for me at first, but after a month or so it got better and I ended up loving my time at that school and the people I met there dearly. I've been here nearly three months and have about 0.5 friends. I eat every meal alone, spend most of my time alone. I really have tried to put myself out there. I go to clubs, I talk to people at random events I force myself to go to, I chat to people in class. I feel as though I've missed my window. Everyone already has friend groups and I'm not sure how to get in. I am so alone. What am I doing wrong? Why don't people want to be friends with me? I have all but given up hope of finding people. It is exhausting and humiliating to try so hard to so little avail. I am questioning everything and feeling everything and nothing at all. I have too much time alone in my head. I try not to think about how incredibly isolated I am because its too painful. Yet it is inevitable when I see people loving their lives, going out with their new friends, having fun, being spontaneous. Why can't I have that? Many people believe their college years to be a high point of their lives, but I sit here by myself and have to analyze every part of me to try and figure out what I have screwed up. How much longer can I do this?

2
User Profile: CheeryMango
CheeryMango November 21st, 2024

 Adjusting to college and making friends can be incredibly hard, especially when it feels like others have already formed their groups. It’s not about you—many people struggle with loneliness and it just takes time to find your people. Keep putting yourself out there, even though it’s exhausting. You're doing your best, and that effort matters.

User Profile: GlenM
GlenM November 21st, 2024

I agree with @cheerymango, the other thing I tell my kids and people interviewing is to just believe that you are already friends when you talk with new people. This puts you at ease and helps them feel comfortable with you quickly.


My oldest kids went to college last year and it was a time of challenge and growth. You are already ahead of the game being aware of the challenges and knowing how to articulate them and ask for help. It isn’t easy!


Keep is posted on how things evolve. We are rooting for you!