my life feels so dull and unfulfilling
Every night theres one thing that always keep me awake, the past. When I was a kid, I was so emotional, mature and responsible. I was great at school but I had no friends. I had no one to play with, no one to talk to and I think its partly my fault because I was so focused on my studies that making friends was never in mind. I regret being like that when I was a kid, I wish I had listened to my mother when she said I should make friends. I cry everytime because I feel like I wasted my childhood.
I did have friends on my last school when i was a junior. They made me the happiest but our friend group ended and we are not talking anymore.
Now that I am a senior highschool student, I'm trying to make friends but everytime I talk to someone, I find them shallow, dull, mean, or too studious. Maybe my last friends set the standards too high. Anyways, I just wish I can move on from the past, my childhood and my previous f
riends.
@GoldinNeedofHelp
One of the most annoying things I've ever read was that if we're feeling dull it's because we're dull.
I think that's a load but if I look beyond the offensive nature of the statement I can kinda understand.
Because underneath it's a message that says 'if you think you can or you can't, you're probably right.'
This doesn't change everything but it does start opening doors to possibilities and opportunities.
And in the opening of those doors we can become inspired and uplifted enough to walk through.
It may take a long time to build the strength, courage and wisdom to do so, but it can be done.
I know it doesn't seem like enough, the pain of regret is a million times worse than that of discipline.
And try be easy on yourself. Life is freakin hard. And what you're going through...ugh...it super sucks.
So do something good for yourself today. And let that be a clue, a key, a piece of the puzzle 💫
Let the goodness in life guide you to more good, until you're creating an endless wave of it.
You know how when you roll snow it can build a snowman? Do that for your life's work. Esoterically.
@GoldinNeedofHelp
OMG, I can relate so much!!! I have transferred to many schools and had a close friend group at the school where I stayed the longest. But then at my new school, I faced the same problem as you: Not finding the right people to make friends with. My parents accused me of being too snobbish and antisocial. This led me to wonder if I was too picky with making friends but honestly, I couldn't imagine myself being friends with any of my classmates. So at school, I don't talk to anyone and am alone most of the time. It's hard for me to open up like I did before with my old group of friends with whom I shared so many inside jokes... I swear I haven't laughed out loud in so long where as before I would laugh so hard I almost peed my pants! Now as I am older, I am occupied with school work and preparation for university so I tell myself that if people aren't worth making friends with and are a waste of time, then why not focus on myself instead of being distracted by others? Can anyone tell me if I lack social interaction and if I'm in an unhealthy situation?