ugh..... checkup 1
@justmeeva @iloveyouxx @unassumingeyes @Maeeeeebae999 another day, new account...ah a new checkup, ima try to do these daily (and stop tagging yall cause you prob are tired of getting tagged) tw: suicide
well, interesting....my mom- isn't actually being as rude..maybe when I said I wont find light, maybe I will..but im still mentally unwell, still having to deal with the DAILY flashbacks and depression...but oh? i cant be depressed or this or this and have to be happy? ok, thats fine...ill stay hiding behind another random personality that i talk to others with to avoid embarrasing myself....oh sorry, i made a mistake. HOW COME you noticed my mistake but not the ONE TIME i did something good? oh yea...im a burden? yea. sounds right, but ohhhhhhh? you make me live through fire but expect me to help you? yea...fine. why did I not become friends with you instantly? cause of all the people that have left me with trust issues.....but ohhhhhh it's MY FAULT that I have trust issues? autism? ADHD? oh, because I was born. okay. i mean i wish I succeed in the countless time I've tried to BUT OH? you care for ME SO MUCH after i wanna, but before you DIDNT GIVE 2 ***??? makes so much sensseee
@BuddyWinte u can keep tagging me *Sending hugs* (I will respond w more later)
@BuddyWinte
You can keep tagging me too 🩷
Im glad your mom is less....awful? But its okay if youre still struggling 🩷 its okay to make mistakes and feel hurt or upset or angry or scared or tired. And i know thats real hard to believe and trust, because thats not what youve learnt growing up but sometimes we learn that we're wrong when we aren't. I dont know if that makes sense?
I dont think their/her care is worth it, worth putting on a new mask, a new pretence. If its for your own safety, what can i say? But if its for them/her- these people domt deserve the real you, or any of the fake yous. And you deserve better than them.
Idk if this helps or doesnt, but i thought it wld be better than to leave you in silence
@BuddyWinte
hey there. first off, please don’t stop tagging me. i want to know what’s going on, i want to help if i can. besides, tags don’t mean you force us to read. you just give us the option to. and i’ll gladly use it.
i know it might be hard to believe it right now, but i have to show you the way i see you. i’ve seen the countless times you’ve helped others in group chats. it’s been.. a long time since i’ve been there, but when i was, you were always there to either help others, or ask for help. and you know what? asking for help is such a brave thing to do. i respect all those so much who ask for support. i’ll forever say that asking for help is strength not weakness. that’s why i want to keep tagged as well. every time i see a vent, i don’t look at it as “ugh, someone complaining again”. i look at it as “wow, they took the time and courage to share their problems with others, and ask for help”.
i’m really glad you came back. i’m really glad you’re here. you’re an amazing friend, you’re fun to talk to, you’re a good person.
if anyone mistreats you, and for a long time, then it’s understandable that you’re confused and sceptical about the way people treat you, about their care, wondering if it’s genuine or fake, etc etc. i can promise you my care is true and genuine. i don’t have the energy nor do i see the point in faking care. besides, caring about you doesn’t need any effort. you’re such an amazing person that i sometimes wonder who wouldn’t care about you. you’re so worthy as a person, as a friend, even as a stranger.
anyways. i’ll forever be proud of you, even if it’s just for existing. because you try. you try so hard. and i see you. and you’re doing great, even if you’re not doing great, know what i mean? and i love you ❤️ /p