I’m only 20 but life seems so overwhelming lately…

Got out of a 3 year old relationship just months ago and moved on. But constantly having that feeling of loneliness and wanting someone to just care about me and listen to me and be there for me when I need it. At the same time, I am worried to open up to a new relationship as I know I would be anxious of a new one because of how the past relationship went. The trauma and how i felt in it really dug me out. The manipulation, narcissism, lies and empty promises all hurt me bad. It’s not that I don’t trust the next man to enter my life and I’m scarred from men, but the fact I don’t trust my own guts in letting myself go into a new relationship because I know I will face negative emotions as a consequence of the past to affect the new future one.

Feeling the major disconnection with some high school friends and feeling left out from a trio friendship. Not being able to make and build quality friendships with new people I meet as I don’t seem to have the opportunity to meet many new people or I don’t find a chance to open up or communicate more. University friends seem to be only friends for uni related stuff, we don’t seem to share much about our private lives or share anything else other than talk about uni related stuff. Work mates seem to be the best form of friendships for me at the moment.

Im more than half way studying for a degree and suddenly I’m not quite sure if this is what I want to do. I know for a fact I will continue to finish it because I don’t want to waste my money. Some days I’m very into it , some days I don’t know if it’s what I want to do. I even tell my University friends, I don’t see myself doing this for my entire life. But if I don’t, what else is there to do? Work in my current part time job forever ? Whilst it pays good as a manager role and I see potential in myself being promoted, I don’t think it’ll be a fun role to do for a life time career.

life is so overwhelming rn. Dealing with loneliness and depression and no one to talk to. What would your advice be to continue on a happier or easier journey? It’s not gonna be easy at all but at least, what are your thoughts on how I should approach my current thoughts ? It’s been around my head quite lately and long.