No friends

@anxiouspup Hello, I'm Janet. I'm sorry things are like this for you. I can relate on both sides. I homeschool my 3 girls, well, youngest 2 now as my eldest is in college, and so a massive part of that is in ensuring they experience different things, different people. If that isn't put in place, then suddenly, you reach an age and are suddenly thrust out into a world that's completely alien. Little wonder you feel as you do. Parents are people, and sometimes, the best of intentions end up being huge mistakes which sadly, children then have to live with. The other side of it, I grew up an only child, very boisterous, curious about the world, about people, but my mum was over protective. As a result, instead of growing into the person I feel I am, I learned instead to be fearful and to not have the confidence to be myself, go places, meet people. Everything you wrote, I recognise. It's like being trapped inside your own head, millions of eyes burrowing into you, but the reality is vastly different. It's all smoke and mirrors, perception. Inside, you feel so self aware, scared of making a fool out of yourself, of people not liking what they see, getting it wrong, that in every social situation, all those things are clamouring in your head. That in turn causes stress and the stress then acts as confirmation to what you're feeling. It becomes your own reality, but if you were able to take a step back, see yourself through someone elses eyes, you'd see an articulate, intelligent, sensitive person who no doubt, is a great listener, fair minded, full of dreams and hopes. That is your true self. That's who comes across in the way you write and that's what people will see when they're with you. For you, it's the hard road of literally starting from scratch, small steps towards building your confidence and experiences, to unlearn everything you were told and become your own teacher. It's not too late for you. It never is. All the things holding you back, they're equally your greatest strengths. Start very small. It's wonderful that you're on this site, that you wrote your post. You've already made the first step by doing those things. Look at your interests, what are you interested in, what do you like to do? Make a list, make lots of lists. This is your time now, time to look to yourself. Finding something you enjoy doing will help build up your confidence. In time, it will lead you to like minded people. And it will take time. But life will get better for you. You have so, so much to offer and bring to friendships. The lack of social contact, that isn't who you are, it's just cloaked who you are. If it'd help, you can always write to me, will always do my best. Take care

@anxiouspup i understand exactly what your going through and how you feel i'm extrovert by heart too, but i get a little shy when i talk to people, but again i do like being around people i am friendly and nice i love everyone i do have friends but hopefully i can make more when i go to college i am sure you'll meet great new people too.