Struggling to make my aspirations come true
So, I'm bad about being concise. I'm even worse at describing my problems in a way that doesn't sound distant. I'm sorry if I come off really robotic here.
Anyway, about my situation:
I'm in my early twenties. I'm a juvenile diabetic and have been for twenty years (since I was a toddler, yes). I got on the insulin pump this year, which really was a big life changer in a positive way. I have nothing bad to say about that. I also have OCD, which comes out through my finding it hard to let go of...well, anything. Not to mention it impacts my daily state of mind, as I sometimes obsess over a piece of negative news for days on end until I lose sleep. I used to pull out my hair when stress, but for the most part I've gotten past that tic.
Recently, I acquired a part-time job as a dog nanny but I discovered tonight that I'm going to be let go. I have maybe a week left to work before my employer lets me go. I don't have hard feelings or anything. It's not a situation she can help. It's just not very good on my emotional state right now.
I've been trying to save up to attend a university in Alberta. I need to have 10K in my bank account to even be considered for a student visa, and that's a lot of money to earn when you can't drive, can't seem to keep a part-time gig, and can't ask your family for financial support.
Losing this gig was really a big blow. I'm trying to see things rationally, but I'm having a really hard time. I just want to have a job that's steady enough I can maybe keep dreaming of attending the school I want to, and getting the career I want, and actually having dreams outside this place I'm in right now.
I feel very stuck. It's worse than hitting a wall. It's like I've been bricked up in an enclosed space and I can't get out. I'm suffocating in my own sense of failure and the constant thoughts of negativity I have.
I guess I'm just asking for some advice. A lot of people give me the "keep your chin up and good things will come to you" speech, but I'm someone who needs more than that. I need a solid piece of advice I can carry with me and use practically in my daily life.
What I wish for most days is a life coach. It sounds stupid, but there are times I can't even imagine overcoming an obstacle most people class as everyday faire. I wish I had someone around who could give me real advice, so I didn't feel so alone.
Sorry for the ramble/whining. I needed to vent and ask for some help.
Hello, @kj1992:) A very important rule on 7 cups is to never give advice. You know your situation the best, and any advice given to you by a stranger could be potentially harmful. What you can expect from a listener, though, is to help you find solutions, or ways to deal with things, that would suit your situation the best :) I'm sorry to hear you're about to lose your job, that is never an easy situation, no matter the circumstances. You said you're saving up to go to school to Alberta. Have you considered any other schools? I know it might sound like a clich but sometimes, our second or third choice universities turn out to be an amazing option as well. It seems to me you see the only one path that would work for you and are trying to make it happen. Does that sound right? Sometimes it can helpful to be a bit more open minded. If a person isn't fixated on only one goal, they might suddenly see more options that are available to them, even some really surprising ones. In any case, I wish you the best of luck in the future!
