Weekly Prompt #16: What are some of the emotions that you find most difficult to regulate?
Hello everyone, I hope everyone is having a good week.
In the last week, we discussed- How has your culture or upbringing influenced your approach to emotion regulation? If you haven't checked yet, please click here to add your thoughts.
Based on the discussion there, I realized that emotion regulation is something that is not openly discussed or learned due to various factors in play. But as a consequence of it, we experience a harder time regulating our emotions because we have no clue how to channel them. So, I want to extend this week's discussion towards it a bit more.
This week's prompt is: What are some of the emotions that you find most difficult to regulate? Why do you think that is?
While there are many factors in play that how emotions are expressed and managed, it is important to find a balance that works for us individually. Please remember, it is okay to feel and express our emotions, and seeking support when we need it is a sign of strength. Let's discuss together and learn from each other.
Join us in the 24/7 General Support Group Chat to share and support each other.
@ASilentObserver Oftenly I tend to struggle to feel emotions anyways. I mean I have my moments where im anger and depressed like, but I dont get out of hand. In a way I bullied myself when I was younger to go dead in emotion. As growing up in a enviorment with a sort of alocholic like step-dad and raging mom. Showing emotion just kind of became something unreasonable in my mind and an inconvience. Oftenly I dont know if i'd ever cry because I struggle to do it. When I do cry which isn't very often, its due to trauma flashbacks at home, school, and all the memories flooding in. Despite I hate when I cry anyways, afterall I dont even know how to respond to others crying. It makes me like a baby or weakling to do so. I do wonder how i'd react if someone atchuallu cared for me with attention. I hate to admit but on the inside im still kinda of like a kid craving. God i'd be so annoying in a relationship now that I think of it!
@Blueinsidenout It sounds like growing up in a difficult environment has shaped how you express and feel emotions. Reflecting on this now can bring up difficult memories and feelings. What impact has this had on your current relationships?
@ASilentObserver
I struggle the most with anxiety, especially when triggered by social interactions. Having Bipolar more than likely plays a role as well as my upbringing. It's often irrational and/or unnecessary but the very nature of something that is irrational, means you often don't see the trees for the forest, so it is hard to find your way through.
Medication, for the most part, has subdued the fallout so it no longer reaches the point of crisis, but it still gets triggered non the less.
The other trigger is hyperfocus/fixation as when I come down from it, it triggers a sense of loss/being at a loss.
@nongelic That sounds overwhelming to face triggers that stir up anxiety and leave you feeling at a loss. What kinds of things do you usually do when trying to cope with these feelings?
@ASilentObserver
I try to find something to occupy my mind, which in itself can be difficult if I happened to come down from the fixation due to depressive loss of interest. Having a pet though, can give some stability/consistency as they need constant care and it can force you into action, during which they can often brighten your mood through their antics.
@nongelic
Hi, I have been dealing with anxiety due to breakup and traumatic experiences it gave. Here i am sharing my experience, it may help you as well. Somehow i figured out that i was attracted to a particular kind of beats in music. Just normal music no lyrics. It had helped to calm down and to sleep peacefully. I have stopped listening to all kinds of sad songs and almost all lyrical songs. I listen to only music (instrumental/beats/singing bowls) and its a great help.Its working magically for me. Yes, pets are a great help during this whole journey. I do have one. I hope this helps.
Distress, Anger, Pain, Disappointment
@Oceansky93 That sounds like a challenging situation. What emotions arise the most frequently for you in those difficult moments? Please share. We are all here with you Ocean.
@ASilentObserver
When you are hurt and you can't say/express to the person who has hurt you because that person says he/she cannot understand or doesn't want to understand even if you try to explain, will lead to arguments and quarrel, will end up hurting yourself more. I don't know what's a bigger torture, to get hurt everytime without saying a word or to say and face all the arguments. Sometimes i feel people use the inability to understand others emotion just an excuse to skip all the efforts to sort a situation . Sometimes it feels to shutdown emotionally.
@NSYHJTJBTS It sounds like a difficult situation to navigate without the other person seeing your perspective. Feeling unheard and unsupported can be very hurtful. How do you wish the other person would respond to gain a better understanding of your feelings?
@ASilentObserver
I wish the other person could just listen rather than doing logical analysis. Sometimes just listening helps. People don't understand that women are emotional beings, if they feel something is that they feel. There is no logical explanation to a feeling or emotion. Comparing emotions to logic doesn't work.
@ASilentObserver
I learnt alot of things from this relationship. Biggest lesson is "Invest in people who invest equally in you". I realised strength is in choosing your peace, mental health and yourself over surviving toxic, exhausting, painful relationship. Walking away from such things needs lots of courage and strength. I tried everything I can do to make things better but it doesn't work. So I choose myself and now moving forward in life without any regret.I know i will heal soon. I am trying to stay positive and making required changes in my life.
Love and passion
@Jake445 Those emotions can be difficult to manage. You're not alone in struggling with regulating love and passion. How has trying to control these emotions impacted your relationships with others?
@ASilentObserver I grew up in an environment where emotional responses were not shared openly unless in extreme situations. I am not sure what you mean when you asked about "the
emotions that you find difficult to regulate." I guess you can say that I usually repress all of my emotions at least in public. I have been accused of not having a personality because of this. Currently, the emotions that I am struggling with the most are happiness and self-confidence. There is anger on occasion, but it is usually redirected towards myself.
@NotAllHere713 It sounds like you grew up in an environment that did not encourage openly expressing or sharing emotions. Repressing emotions for so long can make it difficult to connect with and understand your true feelings. Feeling a lack of happiness and self-confidence must be tough. What aspects of yourself would bring you more happiness and confidence?
@ASilentObserver
Yes. Part of the repression of feelings is from culture. I've always felt uncomfortable around people who are overly exuberant, ex. "The Life of the Party." But this inner reluctance to share emotions as clearly as some others have let to many people misunderstanding me. I've been told I have no personality. I don't cry openly at movies or songs on the radio, so I am emotionless. I don't connect with jokes, so I am boring. Another issue is that as an introvert, I don't want to call attention to myself. I wish I could have more confidence in myself so I can go out without thinking everyone is staring at me.
I wish I could actually feel true happiness without strings attached. I wish I could smile naturally, without forcing myself.
@NotAllHere713 I hear you do like to be able to be yourself and feel comfortable in your own skin. You don't sound unfeeling at all - it sounds like you're actually very aware of your feelings. And it also sounds like you've maybe suppressed some of those feelings.
@ASilentObserver
The most difficult emotion to regulate is sadness. When I start crying, I feel like it is very hard to stop. I can keep telling myself to stop, but it may not work. Sometimes, you do not know how to get out of sadness. Once you're sad, it may be a prolonged period of sadness. I get sad during the winter and sometimes I do not know why I am sad. I just am.
@determinedPrune5176 It sounds like sadness can be difficult to regulate at times. Feeling sad for prolonged periods and not knowing why can be challenging to cope with. You're not alone in experiencing sadness, we are all here with you.
I find it difficult to regulate when I am feeling frustrated. Usually it is because I feel invalidated and am struggling to convey myself to the other person. This is when I become overwhelmed with all the nuances and social rules, which increases my anxiety and frustration. It's a self-perpetuating cycle.
@dovahAcolyte It sounds like feeling invalidated easily triggers feelings of frustration for you. That must be difficult to experience in conversations. What thoughts tend to go through your mind in those moments when you feel overwhelmed by social nuances?
I find that anger, loneliness, grief, and feeling rejected are the worst ones for me. I think it has a lot to do with my upbringing and the way I was, or rather wasn't, taught to handle the way I feel and those are just the most common things I've been feeling in my life as a whole
@redismyonlyalias Thank yu for opening up with us, Redis. I am glad you have a deep understanding of your own emotions and how certain feelings can be particularly challenging for you. Those emotions can be powerful that can bring up difficult feelings. How do you typically cope with these emotions when they arise?
I've been trying to talk myself down and self soothe more lately because I couldn't stop upsetting others with my actions and words when I am feeling badly, ive been getting better at logically talking myself away from the negative self talk and destructive actions but I still struggle quite frequently, especially when I feel most alone which is almost always at night
@redismyonlyalias That sounds like you are making great strides in learning how to cope with difficult emotions by talking yourself down and engaging in self-soothing behaviors. Feeling most alone at night can be particularly challenging. What helps you feel less lonely during these times?
Honestly nothing. Late at night, what I could really use is just someone who cares to talk to me but I also don't want to bother anyone so I usually just spend a lot of time on my phone scrolling and trying to ignore myself until I can sleep.
@redismyonlyalias That sounds like you're experiencing difficult feelings of loneliness late at night. Spending hours on your phone can be a way to distract yourself, but it can also leave you feeling more isolated.
Yea I mean I guess, but there's not a whole lot else to fill my time with when my whole house is asleep. I struggle to fall asleep. I can try to spend less time on my phone as a whole tho. It's probably not the best usage of my time anyways. But you're right, I feel extremely alone at night and I don't have anyone I feel comfortable talking to and taking up their time, even if they tell me it's alright.
@redismyonlyalias That is understandable, Redis that you are experiencing difficult feelings of loneliness at night. Feeling alone can be tough, especially when you don't have someone to talk to. Please know you have all of us here with you to listen to and support you.
