What if im the toxic person in my life. the selfish, doesnt want help, will never change, always pessimistic, hates everyone, wants to shoot every kun

@pessimisthater Hi there, I've always tried to be optimistic around people, but I recall somebody saying that a pessimist is somebody who has had to listen to too many optimists for too long - or something along those lines...

I may be wrong, but I would guess that you've been let down a lot in life one way or another - that things haven't really tended to work out in your favour - and although I have no idea what you have been or are going through, I do have an idea of how hard that can be. No matter how you might see yourself or the world around you though, offing yourself is never the answer. I realise you may not have any interest in talking to somebody, but incase you ever feel like you may put yourself in danger, I think it's important to at least make sure you're aware that there are resources out there - hotlines can be found here, or an online chat here.

I know how tempting suicide can be, and I honestly do understand believing you will never be able to change - the idea is absolutely terrifying, allowing yourself to be vulnerable is terrifying. But you are capable of changing, if that's what you want. It needn't be all at once; that would be exhausting, almost impossible to keep up - like a constant act. But if you truly want to change you can take very small steps which may eventually become natural to you.

Whatever you decide to do, I am glad that you're here. I know sometimes it can feel better just to have somewhere you can write it all out or have a rant about everything!