I can't feel happiness anymore.
Hi, I guess I am not new here. I have been serving as a listener for quite a long time. But now I am back as a member who really really needs help and advice of any kind.
My depression comes and goes in curves. I can be doing fine for months, but once the pressure builds up, especially from studying or stress, it all comes crashing down again. I’ve been through severe depression before, even suicidal thoughts, but I pulled myself back. I thought things would get better after moving and starting fresh, but I realize now that whenever life gets too heavy, the same emptiness returns.
Right now, I feel tired all the time. It’s like I’ve lost interest in everything. Things I used to enjoy just don’t bring me happiness anymore. Now, I will say if we meet in real life, you will probably consider me as very disciplined. But none of those brings me any happiness. Even when I achieve something good, I can’t really feel proud or excited. It’s like I’m numb to happiness, but the pain stays sharp. I still try 'doing' things like study, work out, talk to people, but it feels like forcing myself through the motions and I dont really know how long i can keep it anymore.
Sometimes I feel lost because I don’t even know where my sadness comes from anymore. Maybe it’s anxiety, maybe it’s just exhaustion. I want to find myself again to feel genuine happiness, not just fake smiles or distraction. I know I can’t do it all at once, but I really want to start somewhere. Maybe that’s why I came here: because I want to talk, understand myself better, and slowly find the way back to who I was. So if you have any thoughts please do let me know...
Thank you.
@sunflower035
I'm sorry you are going through so much.
It's not easy at all 🥺
It's important to do small, manageable tasks everyday that makes you feel happier and more confident, until you feel more like yourself.
Don't let things fester, talk to someone if things persist.
You are not alone here and you deserve to feel good 💕💜
@Amanda84
Thank you so much for your sweet reply🥹 Yes I am trying to force myself to do stuff everyday but still the feeling of losing control of my life gradually scared me 😭 do you have any suggestions for some activities that can help me change my mindset and maybe find back my passion? Any small things would surely help🥹 tysmm
@sunflower035
Ah you are so welcome. We all need support and a friendly ear every now and then. Music changes my mindset, walking, journalling, creating space for you, football is my hobby, watching, attending matches, it's not the activity that is important but finding what's fun and destressing for you, to enable you to feel better and more in control 💜💕
@Amanda84
That’s honestly so kind of you to say🤍. I’ve been trying to figure out what actually helps me unwind too... it’s a pretty slow process, but hearing how you find calm through music, journaling, and football is really encouraging, and I think maybe I should try slowing down and try new things as well...
Thank you again for the warmth and positivity, it's really supportive and uplifting!! 🥹🤍
@sunflower035
It's a pleasure and genuinely fire me a message anytime if you ever need to talk 💕💜
@Amanda84
Thank you so much for the kind offer!!🤍
@sunflower035
i feel bad for you but is there not anything that makes you happy. even if thats true i hope you find your liight back. try new things you've never done before because you might find something enjoyable. please try to not think of your life as a numb person. see the word with hope
@pioneeringFig9851
Thank you so much for your sweet words. Yeaa I dont like being numb and I really hope I can somehow find my light back🥺🥺 Thanks for the encouragement💗💗💗
When I opened this app it was for the exact same reason. So I felt really surprised when I saw your message. I feel the exact same way. I've been feeling like this since I can remember.
I'm a uni student in stem now so I totally get your point with pressure building up. I wish I could say I've resolved it but I haven't. Although I have come to a realisation as to why it happens this much. We analyse everything, we cannot let and live, we tend to need to be in control of our whole lives every single damn time. We can't catch a breath. Even when trying to get a break our minds never stop for a minute and then we're like 'wait, I'm on a break why am I not feeling better?'
It's a routine now. It feels as if we're scrutinised every step we take and the only relief is productivity. Yet even after succeeding in being more productive it doesn't offer any relief. No break. No rest. So we just keep going with all this weight, and then again and again and again.
It's a loop really, our own personal prison. There is however a small key, one that can offer rest, and can keep our minds at bay while we're feeding the soul. It's friends. Real, genuine friends, who spending time with them feel as if you finally get a breath away of this chaos. I know, I'm in the same boat. If we're in the same country or maybe will be later in life, let's be friends :) I'm Ares
@AresBlackwood
I’ve honestly read your message a few times. I can genuinely relate to every single line, I feel the same way… it’s like I can’t rest, and my brain just doesn’t stop, and I think the reason you have realized really solved 40% of my confusion🥹🤍
And yeah, you’re so right on the only time it feels a bit lighter is when I’m around people actually connecting. That’s the only kind of “rest” that works on me...
I’d really love to be friends and it's really nice to meet you, Ares. Seriously, what you wrote was so genuine and comforting and it made me feel better... 🥹 Thank you for that!!
I feel so sad hearing this - i just start feeling pain of others.... Depression looks a bit different for everyone even if we can all relate to each other. I have suffered from depression for a long time as well. I am improving and progressing. I work hard on it. I try best to live a balanced life. I keep checking my thoughts as that's the root of all the mischief our mind does. Please don't lose hope. We are with you to support you. I'm so relieved you chose to share with us. Engagement is an act of faith. Even though you don't feel joy as you say, your act of reaching out tells me deep within you , you carry that faith that joy will reach you.
@sunflower035
@Creamyyy
I just want to say, thank you so much for your message, it really means a lot 🥹🤍
I’m really glad to hear you’re improving and working on depression. That takes so much strength, and honestly it gives me a bit of hope too. Depression does always show up differently for everyone, but that little bit of faith you mentioned is very important indeed and maybe that’s what keeps us hanging on, even when things feel empty and tiring🥹
Thank you for the kindness in your words. It really, really means more than I can say and I truly hope we can both find our light as soon as possible🤍
Hello, im sending love and hugs
I went through that same expirence and still learning
Im going to leave this message with you and hope it serves you well
When everything feels like too much, remember to treat yourself with kindness instead of pressure. You don’t have to hold everything together perfectly. Give yourself a little grace—rest, breathe, speak to yourself the way you would comfort someone you love.
Try not to let the chaos around you pull you out of your center. You can’t always change what’s happening, but you can decide how you meet it. Choosing calm, even in small moments, slowly creates peace that no one can take from you.
@Raingoaway3456
@Raingoaway3456
Hello, thank you so much for the love you sent here🥹🤍 I’ve been trying to give myself some calm lately, to just allow things to be imperfect. It’s hard though bcs my perfectionist brain keeps pushing, like I always have to do more or be better. But your message was such a gentle reminder to slow down and be kinder to myself. I really needed to read that today. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it and it honestly brought me a bit of peace🥹
