Introvert
Hello guys i would like to ask some opinion or advice... I am a 20, yo girl and i found myself very introvert.. i even doing some psychological test and got INFP and found 89% introvert... Sometimes i feel okay and love myself and what i've got.. and now i am currently moving into a new apartment and found the feeling that 'i should introduce myself to my neighbors and explore the vicinity' but i am afraid to even do small talks to my neighbors such as 'oh nice sunday isnt it' i found small talks is irrevelant in my life and just waste of time.. dont get me wrong but i do have some friends i love my friends and we click. I just, sometimes think is it okay to be introvert like this? I just hate small talks and dont know how to start proper conversation , as i dont usually ask about random daily life but more like.. burst of idea? I would prefer discussing about something particular with earnestness rather than just 'how was your day' convo... Am i weird? Is my social skill zero? I want to have friends but in the same time i found many people is just engaging themselves with fake conversation and i found that as a fake interaction :( if you have any advice please do tell me xoxo :3
@Tamikajesse Being an introvert is totally okay. We all feel different about certain things and you said that you just think it's a waste of time, that's okay. Listeners are always a click away if you ever want to discuss a bit more about your feelings. If you'd like to connect with one, click here.
@fruityVision thank you very much for the suggestion
Hey there. You aren't weird. It can be overwhelming sometimes when one is an introvert and we have our choices of conversation. I would agree, small talks aren't really necessary when you have something more to talk about. Its good that you want to know people around you and interact with everyone.I am sure they would like you for who you are ❤
@BlissfulSummer thank you blissfull summer xD
I see that sometimes engaging through big gathering conversattion is draining T.T it's not just me then T.T
@Tamikajesse it definitely can be draining but once you get to know that person it sure gets interesting ^-^
@BlissfulSummer what if they found me a weirdo and nerd, as I sometime unconsciously talking out of topic and perhaps too rebel for them :')
Such as when my aunt asked 'tamika can you drive a car?' in a family gathering and the discussion is about 'what car should they buy for my niece 17 birthday' and i answered 'but aunt, i dont have a car.' then aunt asked 'i asked whether u can drive a car or not?' then i replied 'i dont have a car so the conclusion is i cant drive isnt it?' and they found me weird for not wanting to have a car as main transportation.
These is so frustating T.T
@Tamikajesse well that a obvious reason since you don't have one you can't drive one. I guess people have their own choices. There are people who prefer long talks and I am sure they would like such convos so it doesnt make you weird. It depends upon who you are talking to but don't let them get to you. You are amazing the way you are ❤
@BlissfulSummer thankyou it is so nice talking to you yes perhaps i should try to always positive thinking toward others before i make negative assumption whether they may hate me or not T.T
@Tamikajesse I'm also an INFP - usually test at like 98% introvert or something like that. For years I thought that there were a bunch of things wrong with me, but now I've come to accept that that's just who I am, and I'm trying to surround myself with people who understand that as well. I abhor small talk - I will literally hide from people I know in public sometimes just to avoid a "Hi! How are you?" rather than get trapped in a conversation, especially when I am in a hurry. I just don't see the point in having to interact with anyone unless it serves a very specific purpose. Some days it bothers me less than others. What has changed over the years is that I've learned to ignore people who think I'm "antisocial" or "weird" or "melodramatic." I've learned that I need alone time every day to "recharge" and process everything, especially if it's been a day I've spent around a lot of people. It also helps to talk to other introverts about these types of things; a lot of us have very similar experiences but might not necessarily talk about them (because, well, we're introverts. Thank goodness for the internet!). I follow introvertdoodles and introverts.are.us on Instagram, and it's nice to not only be able to relate to the posts, but also see how many other people out there relate as well. It makes me feel understood and less alone.
I also relate a lot to your car story. It bugs me so much when somebody misinterprets what I am saying and then they treat me like I'm stupid (this happens probably at least once a day). I then try to explain myself even further and people get annoyed; they don't want to be botherd with my thought process behind whatever I'm saying or doing. I just can't stand the idea of someone not understanding where I'm coming from.
@teenie sorry for my late reply...
Oh wow finally there is a person who can relate with me :') i want to cry im so happy.
Thank you for making my feeling is clear and acceptable, and to explain with words, as I dont really good at explaining :')
It feels like having a mindlike people ease me, i feel being understood. Yes. Too many experience of misunderstanding in my life and that tends to make me low self esteem.
Thank you for your understanding (i really want to hug you whoever u are)
@Tamikajesse
"I would prefer discussing about something particular with earnestness rather than just 'how was your day' convo... Am i weird?"
Hi fellow introvert, I can absolutely relate to what you're saying. One thing that's really helped me is looking for ways to talk to people in context. Years ago, I joined a writing group and I've made some good friends through it because we all have a common interest. Currently, I've been getting more involved in the community through volunteering and, again, it makes it easier because everyone's there to support a common goal. If you join the squid appreciation society, then you walk in already knowing the new people you're going to meet like squid ;) Meetup can be a good resource for finding people with the same interests you have.
And, as for the small talk, it really does get easier with practice. What's the point? Well, there isn't much point to it all on its own, but it's a good skill to have because it makes it easier for people to feel comfortable around you. If regular small talk bores you, mix it up and dig a bit deeper. Instead of "how are you?" you can ask more creative questions like, "What's something that made you smile today?" or "What's the last thing you read that you found really interesting?" or "What's your favorite squid species?" When I was younger, I found the book How to Win Friends and Influence People to be pretty helpful for some basics on interacting with strangers.
Hi,
I totally get what you're going through. Being an introvert is perfectly okay, and your preference for meaningful conversations over small talk is natural. Small talk can be tough, but it's often a gateway to deeper connections.
Start with simple gestures like a smile or a quick "hello" to your neighbors. You can gradually build up to more meaningful conversations. Remember, it's okay to take things at your own pace.
And hey, if you're looking for tips on relationships as an introvert, check out Introvert's Love. It's a great resource.
You're not alone in this. Many introverts feel the same way, and it's all about finding your comfort zone.
Take care!
Hi,
I totally get what you're going through. Being an introvert is perfectly okay, and your preference for meaningful conversations over small talk is natural. Small talk can be tough, but it's often a gateway to deeper connections.
Start with simple gestures like a smile or a quick "hello" to your neighbors. You can gradually build up to more meaningful conversations. Remember, it's okay to take things at your own pace.
And hey, if you're looking for tips on relationships as an introvert, check out Introvert's Love. It's a great resource.
You're not alone in this. Many introverts feel the same way, and it's all about finding your comfort zone.
Take care!
