Need Advice on Friends, School, and Dating
Sorry for posting such a long thing. I’m also new to 7 Cups, so I don’t know if I’m doing this right.
Lately I’ve been struggling with a lot. I feel sad and hopeless most of the time, and the only way I can calm down or fall asleep is with weed. Without my anxiety meds I’d probably be in a way worse place.
I don’t really have friends. I’m not good at school or sports. I’m short, and I feel like no girl would find me attractive in real life. The only thing that feels fun is video games, but even those get boring sometimes. My parents are strict with games too, which takes away one of the few things that makes me happy.
I don’t know how to make friends, and I feel like I’m missing everything in high school—parties, open campus, fun in class. I feel like no one likes me or values me, and that I don’t matter to anyone outside of my family. When my mom asks if I’m good, I always say yes even though I’m not.
I’m worried about my future. My grades aren’t great, I don’t have anything to put on college essays, and school just feels boring and impossible. I feel like all I can do is wait until college to restart my life.
On top of that, I’m struggling with my relationship. Amelia is a girl I’ve been talking to who lives really far away, and we haven’t met in person yet. She wants me to tell my parents about her, and I want to, but I don’t know how. I’m scared I’m not good enough for her—because of my height, intelligence, or communication issues. I want to give her what she needs (like quitting carts, telling my parents, visiting her), but I can’t right now. I’m thinking maybe I should break it off until later, but I don’t know.
I just feel stuck, with no motivation and no one to talk to. How do I even start fixing this? How do I make friends, handle school, and figure out if I can make it work with Amelia?
@affectionateFriend8598
Welcome to seven cups 🥰
You are going through alot!
I understand weed might make you feel more relaxed and that you are managing but long-term it will only make things worse, and make you reliant!
I can see you have alot of insecurities and it can be hard!
Its important not to pretend that you are ok, when you are not, bottling things up doesn't help and makes you feel worse.
I'm glad you could come here and open up.
I cannot tell you what to do about your relationship, that needs to be your choice, but you cannot ever give or receive love until you yourself are happy and secure in who you are and how you feel.
Maybe start small, but speaking to a teacher or a guidance counsellor about your grades, and figuring out how you can improve and out things on your college applications.
Joining a group at school to meet people, you have alot to offer a d it can be hard to make friends, but we won't make any not putting ourselves out there .
There's nothing wrong with gaming and it's fun but every activity is better shared and in moderation!
I really hope you know that you matter and you can change things, even one step at a time is progress!
Good luck with everything!
💜💕
@affectionateFriend8598
Welcome to being a teenager. It can be one of the most memorable and worst times of your life.
While I struggled with some of the same things you are, I tended to grow out of some of them (as in they got better later in high school). I only wish I could share some of my own stories with you because I think you'd laugh.
As for friends, try to choose a few people you can start talking to and sooner or later they will catch on and you'll be friends. It can't happen over night. It takes work.
Now on the subject of girls (and all the girls please don't read this) they come and go especially at your age. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16 and didn't lose my virginity until I was 18. No rush on either of them (by the way I still have the gal I had my first kiss with as friends on *** so even though they might not work out as a gf you might meet a lifetime friend). My relationship with her lasted a whole four days (and that is another story).
I was very much a geek at my high school and got picked on a lot by other kids (even got beaten pretty badly once). The one thing that is different is that I worked very hard at my studies and I excelled even though I had a learning disability. You have to find what motivates you at school. It important that you do well so you can go on and go to college (those stories are even stranger).
As for Amelia there is nothing like the truth. If she doesn't like you for who you are, then she is not the one for you. There will be MANY others (I may have to go into witness protection for saying that for fear they find out) and some will be intense short relationships others may blossom into love. The thing about it is you don't know until you try. Do know as you go through life you will experience heartache in love. It to shall pass.
The most important thing is that you will be able to look back and see many of those good times. I may have been a nerd, but I dated a cheerleader in my sophomore year (that didn't turn out well, but I learned from it). Now in my mid-50s I can laugh about it. I hope you can too when you are my age.
After my intense anxiety today, I have to say sharing this has helped me probably more than it has helped you.
