my friend suspects that i may have depression but ive never been diagnosed
i have never been officially diagnosed with anything, but sometimes i get really angry for no reason at all, like i saw someone i didnt like, or if someone accidentally bumps into me or anything. i get really mad at the simplest things. also, i have never been very happy about my appearance and no matter how many uplifting quotes about being 'beautiful just the way you are', i never have been really happy with my looks or my weight. i haveonly told one person about this, but i started to hurt myself by cutting and brusing my forearms and thighs. the friend that i told had depression and said that i might have it as well. i have never been officially diagnosed, but im still not sure. I get feelings of mostly a mix of confusion, uselessness, worthlessness, and hate, usually toward myself. i havent told anyone about this, i have never had a therapist, because i dont know how my parents would cope with it. i dont think that they would be upset, but they are those kinds of 'stereotypical society' kind of parents. they believe that mental illness is a thing that can be cured with a simple prayer and a healthy diet. i feel that my life is crumbling apart, and im constantly worrying if anyone's actually there for me, including my closest friend, one that i trust to a certain extent. i have a hard time trusting people as well. i told my friend that i had stopped hurting myself, but i actually still do. i dont want to put that kind of pressure on her. i constantly feel crushed by stress and hopelessness and all the secrets that i keep from people. i only told that one friend because i didnt want to be called a liar or an extreme attention seeker. i have no doctor or therapist, because my parents see it as a waste of money and time. what do i do?
thanks for helping me
@dissapointmenttothefamily. Hi- first of all let me just say I know how hard it all feels. And my parents are the complete opposite I've been thrown in therapy lots of times and it has helped a bit but not a ton. I do know people who it has worked wonders for though. I will say that I used to be very obsessed with diagnosis because I felt like it would justify what I was feeling, but now I don't care as much. As for what you should do, I would say go to your counselor or counseling services at your school just to start. They can either begin to help you or point you in the direction of someone who can. Also, if you don't feel comfortable with that the listeners on this site can be really helpful and even the group chats are great. Also, I know we probably don't go through the same things but you can talk to me. I sometimes hurt myself and have never told anyone. I understand about the friend thing, my best friend can be kind of bad to me ( I have some choice words picked out to describe it but I heard that will get me blocked from here so I won't...). Anyway, feel free to talk to me if you want.
@dissapointmenttothefamily
I'm assuming that your young & live at home because you say you don't want your family to know if your in therapy. If your scared what your parents will think think about what they will feel if you actually commit suicide. You sound like you really want to get help, so at the end of the day it's your life we're talking about. What's the worst that can happen if you seek help? It can't be any worse than how you feel right now, or what you might do to yourself if you don't get help. Hope this helps dear one :)