Looking for some advice please:(
So I was born outside of the US but moved when I was young with my family and had a permanent home there . I was always back and forth between my birth country and the US but from the age of 17-25 i was unable to visit. I entered a relationship in the US almost 2 years ago with an amazing guy, but since the start of this year our relationship has undergone a lot of turbulence and be started bickering more. We made a plan around a year ago before our problems to move to a new state together and had planned to move in July (now). Because of this we both ended our leases and began looking for new jobs. At the start of June , I was given the opportunity to return to my birth country and had originally planned to return at the end of june but new feelings have come up and I have canceled my flight for a few reasons. I am having a hard time deciding if I want to return to the United States by the end of the summer. I finally feel like I fit in culturally and am surrounded by my people. Additionally, I have a foundation here too and the only thing that is currently making me feel horrible is that my partner is still back in the US . We are currently on a break while I figure out what I want my next step to be , but I cant help but feel so selfish for the position I have put us in. How do I navigate this?
@Leaveit2beaver2000 I wish you find the support you're looking for🍀 Sending lots of love your way! ❤️
@fossilfellow Thank you for the kind words!💜
@Leaveit2beaver2000
I can appreciate the difficulty of your decision. I don’t believe it is a clear cut choice.
It sounds like you are still young and therefore maybe have some more life to explore, especially when you mention your connection to your roots. I don’t believe you are selfish because you and your boyfriend seem to be open and honest with each other. Selfish people try to manipulate others for their own reasons. I’m not hearing that.
It may be that you need to be in your home country to discover something about yourself. That’s not selfish. But your decision to live separately away from your boyfriend will cause pain, and that can’t be helped … unless you wait for each other and at some point make a decision to be together in one country or the other (that is possible). But if you can’t come to that conclusion, then what I see are two people who had a valuable experience together but are now going on different paths.
These are just my opinions on a message board, so please if you like any of it … great. If this doesn’t make sense and you disagree, then that is okay too.
@FaithfulScout I appreciate any advice 😊. I do think its good we have established clear lines of communication and Im thankful for how understand he is being (or at least presenting as such!). I have toyed with the idea of moving here several times over the last 12 or so years, and feel something in me telling me to take the opportunity. While I wish my partner could live here with me, when discussed he explained it would not be his ideal as he is not familiar with the language spoken here and has never visited- which is completely valid. Oh how I wish life was more simple sometimes 😥...
@Leaveit2beaver2000
It is so good to hear that your communication is open and caring of each other.
Yes, seasons of the heart can be so complicated. I’m glad you are not blaming yourself for considering this opportunity, and it sounds like your boyfriend is also not blaming you. Please let us know how your decision goes, and if it will help to talk through anything ... we’re always here!
@Leaveit2beaver2000
Any decisions yet?
