sharing my 1am thoughts because I can't sleep ;")

dear self, sorry for leaving it all behind, for running away from friends that make me overthink and sad instead of being happy. There's time they made me laughed and all but then I leave them. It's a difficult decision for me to do but it's for my better mental health. I have such a sensitive feeling , I feel too much I worry too much.

Then wow it's already December and 2025 will be over.. I really love new year celebration, it's so fun and there will be a lot of foods in dinner but once the clock hits midnight the calendar will change to 2026 and I usually feel sad after every new year party like there's nothing special after midnight..

When I was a kid, I really loved birthdays; but now that I'm older I feel like I'm not looking forward for birthday because age change is scary for me 😅 and I'm still not ready to be in relationship and feel like I don't have a soulmate at all in this life..

there goes my 1am thoughts, I wish you well and thank you for being here. :')