Milestones or Steps Completed! Share and Celebrate Here :)

I

Step 110 today, and an 87 Day Streak. In the last few days I learned that I spend a lot of time and energy worrying about things that seem to work out anyway!

I like depression.

Ok, maybe I'm definitely crazy. I also hate but i understand it. It's because of my sensitivity and that means imI willing to accept illI have to live with it. And also treat it as a friend who tells me when I'm going on the wrong path.

Because I have one of the worst case of depression: without any external reasons. Sure i had my fair share of childhood trauma, but nothing to be labeled as serious abuse. But i took the wrong path and it was lonely and it lead me to darkness and hopelessness. Why do every thing you have to do everyday when everything is useless and without meaning? I hate having fun just to switch off so guess what i was not the fun one.

But people can live without meaning, because everyone defines his or hers. And yet I am still afraid. To kick away all ive builIt and start over because i know my depression/sensitivity is due to the way imI living my life, not in tune with my passions. I know it's so silly. Why do I have this curse that i cannot do work that doesn't give me purpose?

In a way, I have 2 options: give away my life or give away everything I have and keep only my life.

When you put it this way... It's still hard, but at least i leart this is not something i can cure.

Step 340! This last week has been my biggest week of learning in my life. 7 cups started it and then I got a counselot and joined a support group and changed my behavior in several ways. My daughter (the entirety of my support system) has been really supportive.

YOU CONTROL YOU

It sounds stupid but spend time on you, you are your most important investment. People will come and go but you will be you forever.

I am working on eating healthier and spending time walking 7 cups is helping me get back to basics

Things have been moving forward day by day

I reached step 120 and I think that I

The big 5-0. I know it's not much but I'm very proud of the steps that I've accomplished. Thank you 7 cups for helping me through the hardest points in my life. I seriously have no clue what I would do without the things you taught me.