Are dreams ungrateful?
I recently went to a discussion about gratitude.
I credit someone on 7 cups, teaching me to reflecting on 3 things I'm grateful for, as one of the steps that helped changed my mindset from negative to more positive.
So I'm all for being more grateful.
But in this discussion was something new.
That being grateful for what we have, means not desiring what others have.
I've always took this to mean, not desiring and taking.
But I realised that I desire what others have all the time. These make up my dreams/objectives/goals.
I see or hear about something, decide whether it's something i want or not, look into whether it is achievable or not and then decide how to achieve it.
Is this not where most people get their goals?
I go to a support group. Isn't seeing what others have achieved and being inspired to aim for it part of why a support group helps?
But I can also see that this has led to frustration, dissatisfaction, disappointment and negativity.
So should I not have dreams?
How do you reconcile not being ungrateful for what you have, with having dreams and goals?
My thought is that perhaps the dissatisfaction and ingratitude comes when the goal or dream is unrealistic.
That perhaps I need to be more willing to reasses, remind myself what I have got and sometimes let go of what I haven't.
What about you?
@Clio9876
I think one of the most important things here might be seeing the difference between being envious, jealous or greedy, which are toxic and negative, and having dreams, goals and being motivated, which are positive.
Suppose your friend looks happier after she finished some therapy or personal growth program. If she is setting a good example, why couldn't you be inspired by that?
When you see your cousin who married a very nice woman, you may dream about having such a great wife - but you shouldn't be dreaming about HIS wife! 😆
Your neighbour has a black Mustang with deliberately spoiled exhaustion. But you should not go to his garage when he sleeps and steal his car. And maybe red small Honda would better suit your needs?
That is most risky when it comes to material things, because they are always limited. Half of the people may dream about earning 40 thousand dollars a month. But in reality the share of such people in a society is less than 1 per cent. So, should 49 per cent of the society be permanently unhappy because of that?
I think it's also important to follow YOUR goals, not somebody else's goals. Because then you are happy living your own life, not an imitation of somebody else's life. Maybe some people dream about being a famous baseball player, or a ballet dancer. Maybe that's good for them. But not for me. 'Cause my vision of happiness might be sitting by the fire, listening to the wind and cuddling my cat 😉
I believe gratitude is not about NOT having any dreams or goals. But about achieving them in a healthy way and treating them as an added value, not like "to be or not to be".
