Good moments 🌈

30th april (wednesday): i'm typing this on 1st may, but yeah. i don't remember much, but i'll type a little of whatever i remember.

we got a few free periods yesterday, i think geography and history, and i got some work done during that time. and i remember, in history i went to the teacher to show some mapwork and ask if it was okay. and she was nice to me because i did that and let me use the washroom and everything. being in 10th, it's quite important for me to keep my teachers happy and so far she seems fine with me this year. what i did yesterday, i think it makes her see me in a good light.

part of the french period was free and this one classmate who was one upon a time my bench partner was sitting in front of me and wanted to play something. he decided on playing atlas so four of us (him, me, person next to me and person next to him) were playing. i could have used the time to do my own work but i realised that i shouldn't always say no for playing if someone asks me to play. and also, i like talking to him and it was good to play together.

my friend and i also had quite a good time talking to each other and everything. and saying our goodbyes before summer break because i wasn't planning on going to school today. but we had a good time yesterday and i think i will miss her a lot because at this point emotions are getting involved in this friendship and we're not just friends because we need someone to send us notes when we're absent in school. but yeah, it went well.

back at home, i washed my hair and that was nice. and i skipped my nap because i wanted to do stuff. i did end up tidying up my room yesterday and did some cups work after a very long time. it was nice. and for some reason, i was feeling really very good for a bit last evening. it was amazing. it did crash down soon, but whatever. doing cups work was good and i also heard some good stuff.

that's mostly all i remember for now.

1st may (thursday): i did end up going to school today to attend the special assembly on occasion of maharashtra day and international labour day. my friend didn't come today, which wasn't good, but i did end up getting through alright, even though the assembly was in marathi, a language i don't really like. some parts were kinda funny. and lots were performed by the helping staff in our school and they were so beautifully dressed up and looked so good. and some students too, they looked just so good dressed up and with makeup for performances.

i was home from school by 10:10 am because we didn't have any classes today, just the assembly. when i got home, neither my phone nor laptop had been taken away today. which is a very good thing. and anyway, i showered and used the laptop for a bit and played a word association game, which was nice. and i moved on to tidying up my room. i did need to lay down for a bit with a heating pad in my stomach for period cramps, but yeah.

after lunch, i ended up eating ice cream, venting a bit, taking meds for cramps and lying down with a heating pad again. and i had permission to nap, so i did. and oh my god, my mother woke me up at 6:30 pm, meaning i napped for about 2.5-3 hours. that's really a lot. when i woke up, i was feeling quite awake and feeling so good, energetic and wanting to sing and dance. especially since the cramps had stopped and the cramp meds enable me to jump around without fear of having that cause cramps again. so yeah. then i ate something and was talking a lot to my mother.

my mother and i went out to go buy my meds around 8 pm. we walked to the medical store and at some points, it was nice and windy. oh, and my mother was wearing a kurta i haven't seen her wear in ages and just think she looked so good in it! anyway, she was being nice, hasn't yelled at me today. and she's been really nice and letting me do whatever for today, like a break from everything. she let me nap so much, didn't make me exercise, didn't make me eat dates or anything. ah i love this, i especially loved my nap. 😴

anyway, coming back to me and my mother going out, i saw a really cute cat laying on the road. and i was right next to it and stopped to look, and it got up and walked over my feet. like didn't step on my feet, didn't rub it's body on my legs, but just walked really close and made a little meow sound. for a moment i got scared thinking it might scratch me, but it was all good and left me smiling. meeeooowww cats are so cute! 😺

during dinner, i laughed a fair bit because of something funny i came up with while my mother and i were talking. it was fun. and i had a piece of this half pickled mango, which was good. and after dinner, i was looking through some photos from my pen drives. some of them were quite good to look at. i was thinking maybe i might share a few here. but i did like looking through them, looking at the good old times.

for whatever reason, i ended up feeling extremely badly overwhelmed like two hours ago, overwhelmed by everything that i need to do or want to do. but somehow, i don't know how, but i feel calmer and more relaxed now. it feels really good. i think i'm ready to go to bed now, it's 1:18 am.

Both of your messages were wonderful. I really love that you are reconnecting with friends a bit and trying to take some time out for play. That you were able to both go to the assembly and rest today were excellent. I loved the cat story. It sounds like you are working through the period cramps and those rougher moments pretty well. They won't be perfect but you are making your way through.

First the good moment from my day - some surprisingly tasty mini grilled cheese sandwiches at a reception that I had to go this evening were a highlight. My husband doesn't like grilled cheese which is one of my favorites, so I don't get it often.

Second, a bit more of a shift is happening for me. This one has absolutely nothing to do with you or any of the great stuff that you have been typing. As you may have figured out, it is about a month since I stopped posting on the other thread. I have my own therapy appointments once a month and had one yesterday. Though my therapist was pleased that I was doing a bit better in limiting Cups, she said that I wasn't doing enough. I have tons of uncertainty in my own life right now and lots of students and fellow faculty members that I support. As someone who is extremely empathic, I am draining myself of necessary reserves to fight my own battles. I have helped people by posting on 7 Cups every night for a decade now. Thus doing anything is very hard. 

But I am going to now get on Cups every other night rather than every night. I will still read and answer everything that I see. It is just going to take me slightly longer to respond. But I am still here for you and am thrilled at the solid progress that you are making!

2nd may (friday): my memory is too *** up to remember anything good. oh yeah, i made myself a place to vent. i need that and it made me feel a little less overwhelmed.

3rd may (saturday): when i woke up today i somehow felt quite good. hair has been relatively okay today even though i had to skip washing today. therapist sounded okayish. i played in a park and a kid called me didi. i saw a little kid being pushed by her elder sister on the swing and the elder sister was telling the younger one that she's here to help but she wants her to try swinging on her own and told the little one to see me swinging on the swing by myself. that was so cute and i was looking at them both and smiling and they were smiling back. the little one was so cute. sometimes i wish i had a sibling, but my parents can't afford that, i alone am too expensive to raise. anyway, talked a bit to a really kind listener. father wasn't home for dinner, good thing. ice cream. heard from my best friend. that's all i got. no energy to type more. got too much exercise today running around because they didn't give a clear address. my legs are killing me. i can't think of anything more, i'm so tired.

Glad to be back again tonight. It is good that you create a vent thread even if only you read it. But I love what you are creating here as well. You are allowed to get tired and only type a few words. Those words were great! I love the story of the little kids. I know they make you smile. You certainly get more ice cream than I do!

My good moment today were some yellow flowers that I saw while walking. They were right near a purple flowering tree and the combination of colors was particularly nice. We will hopefully finally get some rain tomorrow. It has been very dry here for a while. 

Today's good moment was my youngest son moving back home from college for the summer. It will be good to see him.

I hope that you are doing well. 

Tough one for me as my dad's health continues to decline, but I am still going to name a good moment. I think that I am going to go with my husband and two of my boys pitching in to help make dinner when they saw me struggling. The dinner turned out pretty well too. 

Good moment for today was finishing my grading for the semester. It is a relief to be done. Tomorrow starts a three day 9 am - 5 pm training for next semester, but it is good to feel a few minutes of closure.

I hope that you continue to find a few good moments in your busy life. 

ooh wow me coming on this thread after ages. lately just haven't been feeling like coming here. but i'm back today. most of my summer hols are over but hopefully for whatever's left, i'll have the energy and willingness to come here and think of good stuff at night when i'm tired as heck.

4th may - 19th may: i'm really sorry i haven't been posting for such a long time. obviously it's impossible to "catch up" on so many missed days of posting, but here are a few major good moments from this period that i do remember:

rain. rain rain rain. the day i thought i needed a miracle and got exactly what i needed, rain. getting to talk to my best friend, having them make me feel loved and cared for. fun chats that make me smile and feel good. late night chats where i feel understood even if i feel like crap. playing in a park. pretty skies. going out of the society alone for the first time to somewhere except school (though only for 2-3 minutes). the occasional morning or waking up refreshed. the occasional night of getting "enough" sleep, even if it doesn't refresh me. the occasional day of feeling motivated to get schoolwork done. the occasional good time with my mother. the times of my mother being nice to me. the occasional youtube video that comforts me. little unexpected miracles. yeah, that's all i remember.