Fighting irrational thoughts

As a person who overthinks a lot, I have always had trouble to keep a control on my thoughts. People who overthink, put themselves in a lot of distress. The destructive cycle usually leads to problems like self-criticism, self-hatred, paranoia, insecurities and a pool of irrational thoughts which in no time become a part of our belief system. My psychologist explained me how the irrational thoughts we all have, become irrational believes. She told me, how we get a random thought out of nowhere, how we dont question its whereabouts, instead we assume its true because that seems like the easiest thing to do and this is where we go wrong. In no time, we get more familiar with the pile of impressions as they start to enter our brain time and again. Slowly these ideas start seeming familiar to us, and our thinking becomes delusional. Delusional thinking and a wrong line of thinking could be very harmful in a long run, it is a major factor which influences our personality, how we behave, how we perceive things and ourselves.

These are some of the following thinking errors we usually make;

ALL OR NONE THINKING- People who tend to be extremists would be pretty familiar with this, this means thinking in either black or white. Some of us have a tendency to put things in only good and bad categories. Our brain frame doesnt allow grey areas. We arent able to put the events in the grey shades, it is just put in a box of either of the extremes. Ex- If I am not a total success, I am a total failure

OVERGENERALISING- Sometimes, we tend to see a negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. One negative moment can lead to the generalisation to the rest of our life. For ex- if you felt uncomfortable in a meeting, it might lead you to thinking that you dont have what it takes to make friends

DISQUALIFYING AND DISCOUNTING THE POSITIVE- You unreasonably tell yourself that the positive events, deeds or qualities do not count. You end up rejecting the positive events by insisting that they dont count for some or the other reason. Ex- If you performed well in the given task or won a competition, you will tell yourself, Its not because I deserved it or was capable enough, I just got lucky

MENTAL FILTER- Instead of seeing the bigger or the whole picture, you see one negative detail and dwell on it continuously. The view of reality becomes darkened. It is like the drop of ink that colours the entire beaker of water. Ex- because I got a bad score in your exams in one subject, I might be a terrible student

MIND READING- You believe you know what others are thinking, not considering other possibilities. You end up making inferences that arent necessarily based on reality. Ex- He must have thought of me as a stupid person in the meeting

FORTUNE TELLER ERROR- You predict the future negatively, without considering the other more likely outcomes. These types of thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies if you're not careful. Ex- If event A occurs, Ill be so upset that Ill not be able to function at all

MAGNIFICATION OR MINIMIZATION- When you evaluate someone or something, you magnify the negatives and minimize the positives in the given situation. Ex- getting a mediocre evaluation proves how useless I am or getting high marks doesnt mean I am smart

EMOTIONAL REASONING- Just because you feel things, you assume they are true. You end up jumping to conclusions just because you feel something. Ex- If I feel like I am a loser, I must be a loser. If I feel scared about changing jobs, I shouldnt do it

SHOULD AND MUST STATEMENTS- You have a precise or a fixed idea of how yourself or others should behave. You think that one should must perform or do things in a certain way and get hugely disappointed when that expectation isnt met. Ex- It is so terrible that I committed a mistake, I should never commit a mistake

LABELING OR MISLABELING- You put a fixed global label on every person, including yourself. Labelling people and experiences places them into categories that are often based on isolated incidents. Ex- Just because a girl parties a lot, you call her spoilt or if your neighbour committed a mistake, you call him/her an idiot

PERSONALISATION- We tend to believe that others are behaving in a negative way or in a particular manner because of you. Ex- if a friend hasnt called you back, you might end up assuming that it might be because they dont like YOU anymore, or if somebody is grumpy, you would assume that they are mad at you.

UNREAL COMPARISON- Sometimes making an unreal comparison about ourselves and other people can cause our morale to be down or lead to low self-esteem. Ex- he is so much more successful than me, why am I not able to do the same?

These and some more cognitive errors can box our growth and thinking ability. We suppose that what we think or feel are facts, whereas in reality, its just the illusions of our mind playing with us. Everyone has different ways of fighting with their own minds, so one can choose their own way, their own path to a soundful mind, to a place where their thoughts have no control, no weight over them.These are some of the ways I figured out, and you can definitely give them a try too:

Recognize the thinking pattern errors

If whatever notion you have, falls in the above mentioned categories, that means there is an error in your thinking pattern. In order to do something about the way you think, you need to recognize where you go wrong. Remind yourself to categorize these thinking errors as they occur so you can work on them. If there is a major disturbance in your thinking pattern or it gets dysfunctional, you have an option of going to a counsellor or a therapist. You will receive the right kind of therapies which could be great for your mental health

Ask yourself questions

Whenever you get a muddled thought, guide yourself through a course of 4 Ws: WHERE, WHY, WHAT, how much WEIGHTAGE should it have over you.

For example- you get a thought, I am not good enough Ask yourself,

WHERE is this thought coming from? Is this resulting from any instance in the past? On what basis can you think that?

WHY would you say something like that about yourself ? Why are you being so harsh on yourself?

WHAT can you do about the particular feeling, can you improve yourself? Can you do something to make it better? If yes, then do it

IF NOT, ask yourself whether this thought should have this much weightage over you? Should you let this particular belief hinder your actions?

If you dont know the answer to these questions or just have vague foggy responses, you have to realize that this thought isnt well reasoned, and obviously this is an assumption or an illogical thought or a baseless opinion which you shouldnt generalize due to a particular incident Asking yourself questions helps you recognize the statements which come to your mind and give you a better understanding. With practice, you also learn how to not let them process any further and throw it away at that very moment they enter your brain

Talk to your friends and family

The parents who love you the most in the whole world, or your siblings who have been your first best friends or your closest set of friends can be of a great help when you are inundated by your own set of perceptions. Some of us hesitate a lot in sharing our problems with others and we lock up our insecurities and doubts inside, but if you isolate yourself with them, they are going to consume you. Have a little courage, these are the people who know the real you and may end up having a better sense of judgement than you do. You might get a real insight, guiding or it might just reduce the burden from within. I promise, sharing with the right person is always helpful in some way or the other. Sometimes our emotions, our past, our figment of imaginations cloud our sense of reality, so getting a reality check or a push from our bunch of humans would actually make you feel better or make you see things in a different way

Exercises like mirror work

You can research about some brain exercises or tricks which work for you. One of them is mirror exercise. You can either do this early morning, whenever you wake up or just before sleeping. Look in the mirror and remind yourself of anything you would tell your loved one, about how you matter, how much you love yourself, of the blessings you have, of your own strengths, how you are going to work on your weaknesses. Just talk to yourself with a fresh state of mind and remind yourself about your values, believes principles, give yourself a compliment, smile looking at the mirror and you are done. Do this everyday as you engrave these notions deep within your brain

Meditation and mindfulness

Meditation is one of the best therapies one can give to themselves. You can learn how to do it over the internet or join a class or a course which will teach you the art of meditation. Mindfulness is a great practice too, it makes you aware of the reality and improves your concentration. It is very refreshing once you learn how to use it for your own benefit. It will provide you inner peace, put the racing brain to pause and make you see your own light

Self-awareness

Be aware about yourself, about your surroundings, about your relationships. It is okay to be lost and not know the answers to everything but have clear boundaries and notions about somethings.

Get busy

Sometimes distracting yourself or keeping yourself busy actually works, just do something which puts your mind to ease. Watch a tv show, bake something, read a novel, go out, etc. There are a lot of things to do. Sometimes staying in bed or sitting idle leads to overthinking naturally

There are a lot of things one can do, whatever they find suitable for them own selves. There are no hard and fast rules about anything, what matters is the end result, the outcome which will make you a better, a happier human being. Figure out your own tips and tricks, fool your own mind. For the times you feel helpless and feel like you cant do anything about it, realize that it is completely okay to do so, we humans after all arent machines who would learn everything in one go. Let self-realizations come time to time and make you bloom like the beautiful flower you are