It's Not Bad Not Difficult!

@GreatestClassiest

I'm glad you feel comfortable being alone..

From what I've seen on this forum is that so many people disagree with you that loneliness is good.. please become a listener and tell all these people what you have discovered to soothe their pain and suffering...!

Thank you for everything 🌟

@GreatestClassiest

The ability to be happy alone is definitely a gift. And it’s one that I’m grateful to have cultivated and enjoy. Indeed, the times when I have experienced acute loneliness was when I had tried a relationship, thinking quite misguidedly that I should try to be at least a little bit normal. And then I found that the most painful way to experience being alone was to be alone in the presence of another. Fortunately, I recognized that I was doing either of us any good and got out of the relationship, never to try THAT again. I’m a great friend, a good confidant, a wise teacher (for some things), and a kind person. But definitely NOT a person who should be partnered. I’m far too much of an otrovert, on the spectrum, and ace/aro to boot. Generally too weird all around.

@GreatestClassiest

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I think this post highlights an important distinction between loneliness and solitude. While loneliness can be painful for many people, there can also be value in learning how to be comfortable in our own company. Spending time alone can create space for self-reflection, personal growth, and a deeper understanding of ourselves.

At the same time, I think people's experiences with being alone can vary greatly. For some, solitude feels peaceful and restorative, while for others it may feel difficult or isolating. Because of that, I appreciate viewing it less as something inherently good or bad and more as an experience that can teach us different things at different stages of life.

What resonated with me most was the idea of not automatically seeing being alone as a weakness. Learning to enjoy our own company, cultivate our interests, and find contentment within ourselves can be a valuable strength. In a world that often emphasizes constant connection and activity, there is something meaningful about becoming comfortable with stillness and self-reflection.

In the country where I live, solitude isn’t always a choice, unfortunately.

Often it’s thrust upon those who are least likely to be able to develop it into a skillful way of life: those who are poor; sick; disabled; elderly; without familial support (either through death of spouse or estrangement). This leads to not solitude but crushing loneliness as a mental and physical weight. You can see the toll this type of loneliness takes on both an individual and societal level, b/c it makes people struggle so much harder due to lack of any support. Health fails, and there is often no help. When the hole the person leaves in the fabric of the community cannot be filled and then another hole forms and then another, soon the entire cloth begins to tear. This is happening clearly here now. Some areas pay attention and are trying to address this. (I moved to such an area.) Others do not care, thinking the outmoded traditional ways will save them. PFFFT! They will not, I think! We need to teach people how to live alone, if they are going to do so. It’s a skill that can be learned for most. And for those that really do not wish to do so, let them find partners. I’ve known a very few who were good at living in relationships. But either way, I do not understand this thing of humans of teaching everything EXCEPT what seems the most important thing of all: how to be a decent human and live with others. (Apologies for the tangent. I really veered off-topic.)