The Moment of Sudden Realization & Insight

I guess my 'AHA!' moment this week was realizing that I am not as dull as I thought. I always thought of my personal life as mediocre, and this week I realized I casually brush off activities and endeavors that I have spent considerable time in as just 'I did that.' (e.g., 'Did my honors in psych.' That was a 4-year honors degree that (hopefully) prepared me for graduate school, and I brushed it off like 'Oh, just something else I did last week.'

I guess the thing I learned this week was to not sell myself short for what I did and what I am doing.

my last aha moment was realizing i had to stop depending on people for my happiness i have toachieve it myself.

My Aha moment is that people don't always reciprocate, and that's okay. If you are happy to do a lot for your family/friends/partner, don't think about how much or how little effort they are putting in the relationship. If you are hurt because they don't put in as much effort as you do in maintaining the relationship, don't blame them... either accept the truth or put in less effort too.

I remember one of the most striking "Aha" moments was something a therapist said to me YEARS ago. At the time I was struggling with deep depression and just generally felt like I didn't deserve happiness or love. And they way I justified this feeling was by telling myself that I was secretly an manipulative, malicious, selfish person and anyone who dared show me affection just didn't realize yet.

I hadn't actuallytold her any of that. What she said was so simple but It just made me stop in my tracks

"I know you, and you're not a monster"

That a person who did know all my fears and hurt and all the things that I thought made me a bad person could look me in the eye and say without a doubt that I was ok.

Totally changed my outlook on life.

In our society, it is very common for girls to give each other the silent treatment or break off friendships forever if another girl has hurt us. My sister and I were talking the other day, and we were talking about how many times, girls don't even realize they are making a mistake, because instead of talking to them about what they did, their friends just leave them. It takes guts to address the person that has hurt you, but it is better to do that than ditch them for your own pride, which is really justleaving them unaffected, and leaving you incredibly pained. (:

I used to apply all sorts of labels to myselfand it was very limiting and actually kinda harmful for me. But I found it really helpful when my therapist reminded me that I'm a lot more complex than the little boxes I and those around me put my identity in. Now, instead of just thinking of a limitedor negative part of myself, I've gotten into the habit of adding something positive - "I'm too sensitive sometimes, but I'm also very understanding." It's been super helpful! :)

I was sitting down at night on a bench in the park feeling rather depressed and confused about life.

Somehow my dog felt that something was off because he literally gave up playing around to jump on the bench andsit on my lap. And here goes our conversation :

Me: "Loopy, how do you do to always be so happy?! You got your food - your happy. You just pooped - your happy. Your going around this park like if you just landed in heaven ... like how do you do it?

Loopy: .... Just stares into my eyes ............

And then I got !! It is really the simplest of things that can make us happy in life!We people just tend to complicate everything and it just isn't worth it :)

Today I realized that I've never thanked myself. Which means that there's never been an upside to completing any of the aversive, painful, long-procrastinated tasks ahead of me. So now, whenever I go through a great deal of uncomfortablesensationsto get something done,I'm going to make sure that I sincerely thank myself for completing it.

I realized the exact reason and root of my anxious, fearful, never-enough and perfectionistic personality. It goes a long way back, but knowing the root of the problem has really helped me move forward and know how to better help myself. I don't have to be a slave to my past, and with support, I know I will be able to steadily move forward with my life into a more calm, zen, and happy one :)

That moment of realization: Take every advice that's given to you by a "listener" with a grain of salt.