Spam this thread!!

trueconfidant123 May 3rd

Yes. You read that right.

I want you to spam this thread while being respectful and within community guidelines.

Emojis, GIFs, poems, thoughts, stories, hugs ...

Anything and everything!

If you don’t have anywhere else to put it, you can put it here.

2177

ThatWeirdChick96 May 5th

I am so tired of this.
Tired of hearing “It takes time” like that’s supposed to mean anything now. Time was taken from me. Tired of the false hope, the careful words that didn’t prepare me for any of this. What the *** was I supposed to do with “best case scenario” when it still ended like this?
My body went through all of it. For what? Pregnancy. Financial strain. Medical complications. Labor. Professionals putting us in a room and jerking us like animals on a chain. Inconsistent diagnosis. No clear understanding or answers. A "spiritual advisor escorting us out." Postpartum. And the irony? I don’t even have my baby. Do you understand how insane that is? My body is acting like I should be holding her, feeding her, waking up with her. Instead I’m just… empty. Bleeding. Healing from something that didn’t even let me have anything back. Did I survive all I have for this?! For life to continue to kick me while I'm down? Going back to the medical buildings I once saw a future in? Then to be put in a labor and delivery suite for a D&C? Like some kind of cruel joke. Like my life is just looping the same trauma over and over in slightly different ways. “Here you go, relive it again. Just in case you didn’t suffer enough the first time.” And it’s not even over. Of course it’s not. There’s still tissue left. Of course there is. Why would my body just let me move on? Why would anything just end cleanly when it can drag out and remind me every single day? Everywhere I go...it’s babies. Pregnant women. Strollers. Tiny clothes. Questions. Always the *** questions.
“How many kids do you have?” "How are you, Are you okay?" What am I supposed to say without completely breaking down or making everyone else uncomfortable? I am stuck in this loop that no one else can see. Everyone else just keeps moving, talking about normal ***, living normal lives. Here I am. Just here screaming inside my own body that won’t stop reminding me what I lost. I don’t feel strong. I don’t feel resilient. I feel like I’ve been pushed past some limit and now I’m just existing in the aftermath. I lost the version of me that believed things would be okay. I am so *** angry that I have to carry all of this . Physically, emotionally, constantly while the world just expects me to keep going like nothing catastrophic happened.
Crying, lashing out, and looking "rough" makes you uncomfortable? What am I supposed to do with and about that? Don't like it? Don't watch.
Nothing about this is okay. I’m done pretending like it is. Call it a pity party, not helping myself, or whatever you choose. Here it is, this is how I'm doing. I sound like a broken record? I'm not trying to heal? I quite literally can't. That's exactly what my life is.