Loving Yourself

@Myunderstandings98

hello there understandings, I'm lumie

thank you for making a forum thread here and seeking out for some support ❤️ we appreciate you doing that a lot!

I would like to take a moment to appreciate you for trying to love yourself. I hear you and can relate when you say you've low self-esteem and some bad insecurities. They can be hard enough on their own, to hear they are affecting your marriage, I suppose would be even harder.

I'm unsure what tips would be a quick fix. I doubt if there's a quick fix at all. Insecurities and low self--esteem are issues that can be very personal to someone, so there might not be a one shoe size that fits all. But still, I'll try to share some tips I'm personally doing as I try to love myself.

1. I self-tolerate and self-neutralize. If calling myself beautiful seems hard one day; I just acknowledge that I look normal. If I cannot say that I'm amazing, I just say I'm a person. Not every trait of ours has to be made worthy by saying it's pretty or good, some things can just be neutral and that's okay. I talk more about this here: HERE

2. I focus on other people and what makes them good in my eyes. This is such a solid tip that I can ever give to anyone. Compliment others! Try to make them aware of their strengths, how they help others, what makes them stand out, etc by doing this you're not only brightening their day, you realize that someone else can see the same things in you too. If you can easily see things to appreciate in others, eventually you can try finding those things in yourself because trust me, what you admire in others, it's there within you somewhere too.

3. Fight those ANTS. ANTS stand for Automatic Negative Thoughts. The acronym also helps us realize that ants are small, they're hardworking, they may even trouble us if too many but they're small and if we really think about it, they're pretty weak too. You're a human! You're so strong! Try to interrupt whenever these negative thoughts cloud you. Challenge those thoughts, try to replace it with a self-neutralizing thought or a positive one.

4. Visualize yourself as being the person you're capable of being. Our mind is very powerful. Whatever you seek is also seeking you. It's okay to doubt yourself but for this tip, just take a leap of faith, sometimes visualizing, feeling how your best self would feel helps tremendously. And if you can visualize something happening, a part of your brain knows it's possible! So this will help a lot. You can read more about this here: HERE

5. This one may sound a little silly but it has personally helped me a lot. Imagine your favourite character or even a person you know in real life that you really admire, and one you really respect. Now, think of it as you trying to impress them, wouldn't you want to be the most confident one to do that? So, really think over what kind of person would impress that favourite character? Write in detail, great detail and then become that person.

I hope these helps! These are just suggestions I wanted to help provide. You can also chat with some listeners here about self-esteem here: HERE