Self-concept

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I change."

Hello lovely Positivity & Gratitude Community! I hope all of you are doing well. Today we are talking about self-concept, what it is and how we can improve it.

Self-concept is basically the way you perceive yourself, your behaviour, your beliefs and other characteristics. For example, if you think you are a good person, then it is part of your self-concept. When you are young, self-concept is really malleable because you are still forming your own identity and figuring out the answer to the one big question: “Who am I?” Do you know who is Carl Rogers? He was an American Psychologist and also one of the founders of the humanistic approach in psychology. According to him, self-concept comprises 3 components, mainly:

1. Ideal self: This is the kind of person you want to be.

2. Self-image: This is the way you see yourself, your behaviour, how you present yourself to others, etc.

3. Self-esteem: This is the extent to which you choose to accept yourself, have confidence in your abilities and also includes having an impact of how others see you.

Now we can talk about Congruence and Incongruence. As the name suggests, congruence is when your self-concept is in alignment with your reality. Because you are acting according to how you want to be. However, if your self-concept is not in alignment with reality, this creates tension and can negatively affect your self-esteem. A good point to be noted is that it is not possible to feel the congruence all the time. We all experience some mismatches with our ideal self and with what reality presents to us.

How can we improve our self-concept or at the best, change it for the better? It would require a lot of work from your side, it’s not an easy thing. Sometimes we just have a lot of mental captivities that we need to break free from. But nobody said it was impossible :)

The bottom line is to show up and do your best to be the kind of person you know you are capable of becoming and there’s a keyword playing a role while you do this: ding ding unconditional acceptance. You need to accept that you are not the best version of yourself at the present and that is okay. Then you need to accept that you have the capability of becoming your best version of yourself because well, it exists for a reason, right? No matter how much our mind may sometimes tell us that we don’t deserve a certain thing or how we can never become what we imagine - simply say, “but you are wrong, I have every possible thing I need to become the best version of myself.” Really fight those inner voices which overpower you at times, because trust me, you can do that! Then the next thing you need to do is, try your best to act like the best version of yourself. When you are in a position where you have to react, take a moment to yourself and ask these:

1. Would the best version of me be happy for my friend or be jealous that they got exactly what I needed?

2. Would the best version of me think I can’t do xyz?

3. How would the best version of me handle this situation?

And really allow yourself to act as you would like. I know it is hard to actively pull out from your immediate reaction to things but with time, it will become second nature for you!

Ques. What do you think your best version of yourself would act like at present? Are there ways you can show up as you already are that person? Feel free to share with us in this thread!

Sources:

1. Self-concept . 2. Self-concept needs to be changed 3. Your stability is number 1 priority