Self-respect
Hello, lovely Positivity & Gratitude Community! I hope you are all doing well. 
Today we are talking about self-respect - what it is and its concept, what it can look like and how you can show more respect towards yourself.
Self-respect means a feeling of respect for yourself that shows that you value yourself. It is regarded as morally important and even essential for one to live a satisfying and meaningful life. A good question to ask here is, are self-respect and self-esteem, self-confidence the same? The answer is no. Self-esteem is an estimation of how you consider yourself to be. The evaluation that you do of yourself which either leads you to have high self-esteem or low self-esteem, to say that they do not fluctuate would be likely wrong. On the other hand, self-respect means to accept yourself the way you are and learn to still value all that you are. A very interesting thing to note here is acceptance has no limitations - you can be good at something and accept it, while you can also be not so good at something but accept it nonetheless. Self-respect often doesn’t really depend on the successes you have - “I scored well on my test, that’s why I will respect myself,” is not correct since acceptance means no limitations. You can have self-respect and not get the result you wanted, what matters is you still value yourself the same. It’s simple to have self-respect because it’s really just - “I like myself.” And not - “I like myself because I can do ___ or I like myself because I am ___.” A good level of self-respect asks you to maintain strong boundaries with people and yourself. It helps you to avoid overworking yourself, being too available, underselling yourself and with so much more. It’s a tough part to understand this, I struggled with it as well but - self-respect is more important than always being seen as a nice person. Why? Because at the end of the day, only you can choose what does and does not affect you. You have complete control over accepting some things while saying ‘no’ to others.
What self-respect can look like -
1. Saying no to any kind of interruptions when you’re doing something important. Being in the moment and choosing to put your energy into something specific is a sign you respect your personal commitments.
2. Not answering texts or emails the moment you receive them if you cannot at the moment, or when you have other commitments. It's okay to be unavailable from to time. You realize you don't have to be everything to everyone and that's okay.
3. Not apologizing for who you are. We’re all humans at the end of the day, we can make mistakes and can be unavailable. You never have to apologize for putting yourself first or being a certain way.
4. You accept the things that have changed including yourself. Change is the only constant. If you accept that things have changed for you and you might not be the same person, that’s self-respect. Whoever you are at any point in time, accepting that is a form of self-respect.
5. You don’t measure your self-worth in terms of how you come across to another person. You know that you have value for who you are and not what you can do for others (trust me, you’re all so valid and worthy of so many good things!)
6. You know that not everyone likes you and that it’s okay because you like you, that’s enough. You don’t try to force people to your ideologies, you respect your own as well as respect their right to have their own.
7. You can say ‘no’ and ‘I don’t know.’ When you have self-respect, you don’t feel pressured to be available to someone if you know you have other commitments or simply when... you just don’t want to do what is asked.
8. You take responsibility for making positive changes in your life. This one isn’t as obvious at first. You know that you are capable of making necessary changes and aren’t afraid to initiate them, you deem those changes as important and are trying your best to improve.
There are countless more ways you can show self-respect for yourself. For every individual it can be different, so don’t worry about it! Maybe the way you show self-respect to yourself is different, that is completely valid and more than okay.
Here are some ways you can show respect to yourself -
1. Taking a day off and only doing things you want to be doing or the ones you consider important. It's always okay to take a break and do things you enjoy.
2. Being honest and direct with what you want to. This could mean saying no to certain things or asking time for something to be done, anything that would mean you are being honest about how you feel.
3. Acceptance. Accepting that you are who you are and all your strengths and weaknesses. Self-acceptance is necessary because self-respect requires you to value the person you are, warts and all.
4. Pick your battles and be mindful of what you are putting your energy into. Sometimes it’s asked of us to speak up about how we feel and sometimes it’s also okay to not engage in something. Protect your energy whenever you can and whenever you want.
5. Find healthier ways to cope. This could mean taking your well-being into consideration whenever you need to cope with something. Spend time with yourself, listen to your body and try to incorporate healthy coping mechanisms to things that trouble you.
The points that I mentioned in ‘what self-respect can look like’ is a good outline of how you can respect yourself more. Know that whatever feels right for you is valid and you are allowed to put yourself first when you need to.
Resources - 1. Meaning of self-respect https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/self-respect 2. Stanford article on Respect https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/respect/#SelRes 3. Ways to practice self-respect https://www.truelemon.com/blogs/tc/15-clever-ways-practice-self-respect
Question. What are your thoughts on self-respect and how would like to practice it more in your life? Share with us by replying to this thread!
Taglist - Click here to be added or removed from the taglist
@AbHinc @Actuallynobody017 @AddictedTealover98 @aditighosh02 @ahealingEndoftherainbow22 @AmethystAngel @ArtemisGrey @avahenrie123 @awesomeMoment4384 @black1995 @Bluesky1964 @BlueSkyes1125 @Booklover95 @brendenjensen @brilliantMoment97 @brutalBiscuit @bubbleBalsam6602 @calmsoulmeet @calmWillow5266 @caringCreature8571 @catlover456 @centremid @Christiinee @ColorfulKiwi436 @comfortingRose21 @CompassionateDave @CompassionCake @cosmicats @decisiveOcean892 @DeeGold @easyRaspberries164 @exuberantMaple397 @fearlessFriend6573 @Fearlesslake610 @fluffyunicorns84 @frostyOcean72 @futuredavidblue98 @fy64 @genie20 @GhostLily @glisteningeyes @Gozzil @GustyOne4U @happyface1014 @HappyTree906 @healinghearts0718 @HealingSinthia @healingWhisper @herealways27 @Hope3729 @Hpoole @immaddie @incredibleWatermelon1029 @intellectualDrum3128 @ItsReganingRain @IvyL @JayTheBird14 @Jennifer164 @JetBlu2507 @JoyfulUnicorn @K87 @KACOSMIC @Kassy7cups @Katiets @KoiFish @korange @Ktlev07 @Lexloveslife @lightingsun12345 @LightofWorld @LilyLe @lilypilli @lindseynlola @littleSky9143 @Lolowise475 @lumieremilkyway @lunaa1990 @lyricalPillow3807 @mellietronx @melliotm @MiCha1005 @MissPen @MissSkeleton @moonrust @MrJacob @mxmes @nadiasaleh26 @neatBalloon7178 @neverendingMermaid74 @niceDaisy36 @onedirection1213 @optimisticRaspberries5247 @orangeyouglad68 @parisliangbts @Peaceintruth @peppermintlove @Pidge2 @PurpleSnail @purpleWheel873 @Ramiluz1 @Redmark @Redmitray19 @reliablebutoftenforgotten @river @SadHippo208 @sail46 @sarang26 @SavoyTruffle20 @SeekingOkay @selena555 @serenitysearch @SilverSeastar @sincerePenny4591 @Skyy0 @Softhearted975 @Solitary3102 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @supportiveApple61 @sweetlife101 @TheAutumnWitch @Themorningowl @tillyszarawarski02 @TNTDynamite @Totheskyandbeyond @Violiness @warmheartedBlackberry592 @WelcomeToChat @WhiteAlbatros @Zeraphim @zulegirl @zunygne0505
@lumieremilkyway
Hi, Lumie! Lovely and profound discussion as always. (^_^)
What are your thoughts on self-respect and how would you like to practice it more in your life?
For me, self-respect is establishing that balance between not giving yourself enough credit and giving yourself too much credit. Knowing one's own worth is essential to a healthier mindset and an improved approach to life. I would like to practice self-respect more in my life via redefining and setting boundaries, as I've lately realized that that is something I've really been struggling with. It's hard for me to say "no" and turn down others for my own sake. I want to help, and now, I wonder if my mindset for it is unhealthy...I've been trying to convince myself that "There are more important things at stake than my feelings", and I honestly can't tell if that's good or bad. So, thank you for making this discussion. I could use all the help I can get, and I simply adore seeing you around here. You're beautiful and wonderful.
,
Autumn
@TheAutumnWitch
Autumn, so good to see you here! I hope you've been doing well. thank you for reading this discussion and answering the question. I like that you talk about balance in terms of giving oneself credit, I don't think I have given that enough consideration before. you, your feelings and your well-being are very important, Autumn. I am sorry to hear that you've been struggling with maintaining strong boundaries, I do get you because I am often not able to follow what I say, saying 'no' is very hard but necessary. one step at a time, we both will get there! I know we can. I adore seeing you here too, whenever I find you here in the forums, there's a smile on my face. thank you so much! you're so amazing and thoughtful, I love hearing your thoughts! I hope you are having a good day, Autumn, see you around!
PS. I love that picture so much!
@lumieremilkyway
Same to you, Lumie! To be honest, I'm in a 'shutdown' state with my emotions right now, but don't worry; I've realized that it's my mind's way of trying to protect me, and the best option for me is to simply wait it out. Yes, with balance, everything must be... *Thanos voice* "Perfectly balanced, as all things should be". XD Aww, thank you, Lumie; I'm still trying to convince myself of that, but it's lovely to hear it from someone else to lessen the confusion spinning around in my head. A while ago, I learned from one my professors that, "If you can't say 'no' right away, at least learn how to say 'let me think about it' and use that instead. That phrase buys you time." So, I think I'll have to resort to that for the meantime. You bring a smile to my face, too! (^_^) I hope you're also having a good day, and take care, Lumie!
@TheAutumnWitch
take your time to process your feelings, Autumn. I am sure you will be doing well in no time. I admire that you understand the way you deal with your emotions, and also how your mind copes with them. haha thanos! I love what your professor said, I will have to try it myself too, thanks for sharing that. good luck with that and hey, one step at a time, we don't need to rush at all. take care, Autumn! it's always lovely hearing from you :)
@lumieremilkyway
♥️♥️♥️ I'll have to be brief for now, but I just wanted to say thank you again, Lumie.
@lumieremilkyway
You've put it in such a detailed and beautiful way lumie. You're the best! ❤
With the pressures of life, we tend to forget to respect ourselves; we forget to set boundaries and accept ourselves the way we are since we push ourselves to deliver the best we can.
The points you mentioned are definitely effective ways to preserve our self-respect. As much as we respect others, we can respect ourselves while staying humble.
- Self-reflection is a good way to understand what's going on within ourselves and taking heed to the parts of us that need healing would be nice.
- Setting up a timely schedule would be a good idea if we tend to overwork ourselves for the sake of getting a task done. Additonally, identifying our needs and responding immediately would help us stay healthy; especially for those of us who live busy lives.
Thank you for this important post on self-respect! Take care ✿
@DaisyDaph
hello Daisy! thanks for reading this forum post and replying. and aw thank you! you're amazing!
indeed with life pressures, we may often lose sight of what matters the most which are ourselves and thus our self-respect becomes a little hard to take into account. we try to prove ourselves and push ourselves hard which can sometimes clash with our boundaries. it's definitely possible to remain humble while also respecting yourself. self-reflection is so necessary and I love that you mention it! and making a schedule is always recommended. some people have a rough time sticking to it but I have found that routines are actually great for us because we do need some predictability in our day and for us to maximize our output.
Question. What are your thoughts on self-respect and how would like to practice it more in your life? Share with us by replying to this thread!
Thanks for the interesting read. It's an different take on self love and I like thinking about it as self respect. It's easy to put other's needs above our own bc we want to be seen as kind person. But the problem with that is then we're not valuing ourselves and our own needs. We're not kind to ourselves. I struggle with pushing myself too hard, not respecting my needs of taking breaks when I need it. I'm so used to operating that way that in the moment, it's hard to recognize that I'm doing that. I'm trying to work on that. I have to remind myself, when it does happen, that it is ok it did, and now that I recognized it, I can take a break for myself, and next time, I want to try recognizing it sooner. I don't have to prove my worth to other people or to myself (this is the underlying reason why I push myself too hard). I am worthy as I am now - I want to believe this.
@purpleWheel873
hello purple, great seeing you again! thanks for reading this forum post and for your response. I am glad you found it interesting! self-respect covers up a lot of things and self-love, the most unconditional love present requires us to respect ourselves. people do often think in order to be a kind/nice person you always need to accommodate according to their needs. we also need to realize that while we are helping others, it should mean that we are also valuing ourselves, I love that point you mentioned! I am glad you are working on it and I wish you the best of luck with it. it's still good to have the realization later on and then actively try to take a break, that sounds good! you are indeed worthy as you are and you don't need to be of service to others (and even yourself) for you to be worthy of something. I am just happy to see that you are working on this and want to believe in yourself. I hope you can reach a good place where you are at peace with your self-worth.
@lumieremilkyway Thank you for your message. This is what I needed to hear right now. :
@lumieremilkyway This was such a good post! Very heartfelt
Question. What are your thoughts on self-respect and how would like to practice it more in your life? Share with us by replying to this thread!
Self - respect is something I believe every person should have. Sometimes, we are not taught this growing up or we surround ourselves with people who do not have it themselves, which can lead to feeling indifferent or not having it within ouselves at all. But we can change this, we can practice these tips above by incorporating them in situations where we feel we should put ourselves first and that is totally okay!
@Heythereletschat024
kyaa, great to see you here! thank you for reading this forum post and for your response. I am so glad you liked it! I agree self-respect is something people should have and be aware of it too. when people around us (at a young age) don't help us understand this, as an adult or even as a teenager, it can be a bit hard to see yourself as someone who should be respected. we can definitely try to practice what I have said and really just try to feel empowered! no one is given self-respect as a magical potion. we have to try out things, sometimes experiment with what works for us and then continue with it. acceptance plays such a huge role and I think it's very valuable to learn! I am glad you read this post and found it to be heartfelt. hope you're well!
