(Article) 'Disenfranchised Grief' Is The Type Of Loss We Don't Talk About Enough
“Disenfranchised grief is the experience that people have when their grief experience does not match societal expectations of loss,” explained Doreen Marshall, vice president of mission engagement at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP).
According to the experts here, disenfranchised grief can pop up in many circumstances, including (but not limited to):
- Losing a pet
- Job loss
- A divorce or breakup
- Pregnancy-related issues (miscarriages, failed IVF attempts, stillbirths)
- Death of someone you aren’t related to or super close with
- Suicide loss survivors (if loved ones don’t support you in the way they would if the person had died another way)
- Death of your affair partner
- Pandemic-related loss, such as not having a graduation ceremony or being able to attend a funeral
- Death of a mentor
- Loss of housing
- A friend moving away
Why Is Disenfranchised Grief So Painful?
“Disenfranchised grief is so painful for two reasons: One is because in the wake of a loss, grief is the only thing left over from the loss you’ve just suffered. To have it torn from you is to lose what you’ve just lost all over again,” explained MC McDonald, a grief, resilience and trauma researcher. “The second reason is because unless your grief is acknowledged and held by other people, it cannot be healed.” She said in cases of a lost affair partner, for example, you might not be able to attend the funeral or even talk about the loss you feel because the relationship was a secret. If you do talk about what happened, you may fear the only response you’ll receive is judgment.
How To Cope With Disenfranchised Grief
Acknowledge and validate your situation and emotions.
It can be all too easy to chalk up your emotions to “just being dramatic,” especially if other people have said this. However, that isn’t fair or accurate — nor does it help you heal. “Validate your experience of loss, no matter the cause, as painful and worthy of grieving,” Dennard urged.
Be who you need.
On that same note, self-compassion is crucial here, and you can implement it in various ways. For example, you can give yourself what you’d like to have from other people (to some degree, at least).
Look into therapy, support groups and similar resources.
Cassine also encouraged finding a support group or therapist, if possible, to have a safe space to feel your feelings and develop healthy coping skills. “Spending time with others who are supportive and empowering can help in the healing process,” he said.
Reach out to trusted, empathetic loved ones.
If you do have friends, family, fellow church members, etc. who are supportive, lean into them without shame or feeling like a burden (because you aren’t).
Read the complete article available at Huffington Post!
Reflection:
Have you experienced disenfranchised grief? How are you coping?
#DisenfranchisedGrief #Loss #Coping #MentalHealth
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@comfortableNight4463
Ooh this is sooo validating! And answers to this question also hehe: https://www.7cups.com/forum/GriefLoss_223/General_2528/Whataresometypesofgriefthatareoftenneglected_304780/
Any and all grief is valid, so is the one grieving! Sending love to everyone coming across!💛