Betrayed and Blindsided by Divorce
My wife asked for a divorce out of the blue. It was sudden and unexpected. We had an argument over something minor, and a few days later, she told me she wanted a divorce. At first, I thought she was joking, but she was serious. I tried to convince her to sign up for couples therapy, but she insisted her mind was made up.
She's gone now, having moved to another country to start a new life. Not only did she leave suddenly, but she also stole many of my personal items, including gifts from my brother that had huge sentimental value. I later found out she lied to some of her friends, saying I was abusive. I never laid a finger on her, and she meant the world to me.
I'm struggling to deal with the suddenness of this divorce and the betrayal and breach of trust. We were married for 5 years and were planning to start a family next year. She threw it all away because she felt like she wanted a new life. I feel like I may never fully trust another woman again.
@resourcefulWest1872
I am sorry you are going thru that ..............divorce is hard enough but when sudden and lots of things going on it is worse. I have not walked in your shoes but have witnessed a close family member go thru it.
In the relationship it is matter of perspective .... you do NOT seem to see or feel anything was wrong in marriage before the sudden end .... she obviously did.
If there was any signs of being unhappy going through the motions etc that is when counseling comes in not as a hail Mary pass at the very end.
You said you were planning to start a family etc but whose plan was that yours ? ............or both because sometimes in divorced couples i have spoke to the vision of " the plan "was very different for each person.........maybe at one time she was on board but life happens and if she no longer saw that as what she wanted ....she should have told you .......talked about it instead of "well we did plan that now i am not sure but he is...... so guess i leave." Many people I feel are blindsided in divorce or separation because they simply put themselves on auto pilot and do not SEE what is happening in front of them.
Abusive does not have to be hands on....in fact emotional abuse is worse ..... did you value her opinions/ feelings? has there been unresolved resentment ? Did you listen? Many say they do ....but they gloss over what is really being said.... like "they will get over it small item forget about it"...... but to the person it is NOT a small get over it item.
Taking of personal items that you have sentimental ties to seems to be a hurt you back type of move.
It is a shame you both did not talk and really have closure of how it ended.