Cancer
Sometimes I feel as though my life is a sad movie and the universe keeps hitting repeat on the remote. Recently my grandmother has been diagnosed with a terminal cancer and I’m feeling completely lost in a sea of emotions. Having to face the reality of going through round two of being a caregiver only after a year of losing my grandfather. On top of having to decide to pause my life and take a year off of college. Which the college program im entering in 2 months, if I have to drop out then I can’t re-enter the program. It’s a one time chance.
I’ve been keeping myself up late at night crying because I’m scared. Having small panic attack of stress of being thrown into the caregiving role again for my grandma. I’m terrified to lose her because shes like my mother after raising me for 11 years.
Im 23 and feel like my life has been so unfair. Truthfully I wish I was the one who had cancer because I’m sick of my life.
@Country3262 I'm also sorry to hear that you have to go through this. As @PineTreeTree has said, you've become a carer very young, facing two bereavements close together and coupled with the loss of a grandmother who was like a parent to you. Cancer takes everything and gives us nothing, only a feeling of being adrift in a sea of emotions. I've heard it described as being more like a tsunami, being pummelled in repeating waves. It's very natural to feel panicked, when you lose your bearings like that. I'm hoping you're able to find support with your study plans and to be able to find a way forward.