Divorce
Hello - New here. 54 year old male. My wife asked for a divorce 3 weeks ago. Together 12 years, married 10. I’m extremely emotional and overwhelmed. In hindsight I could see the writing on the wall however, it came as a surprise. My son and I are moving out at the end of the month, I’m so worried about loneliness and being lonely. Stems from childhood trauma which I am working on with a therapist. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks much!
@Dkman123
I am sure you are overwhelmed. Dismantling a life you thought you had is hard.
Your post says you saw the writing on the wall but was still a surprise. This intrigues me as see it or hear it from so many in similar situations. How do you feel? Would you like to if possible fix whatever went wrong with your spouse?
being alone is not great but i feel being alone is better then being with someone and unhappy.
I would love to try and fix it by going to marriage counseling as a couple. She will not do that though. As far as the writing on the wall, in hindsight I can see things that were not working but I related that all to stress, kids, work, etc and figured it was just kind of normal stuff couples went through.
@Dkman123
I think that is a common idea and might go a long way if a partner knew you did not see it was not just everyday issues. talking now is last ditch effort and some are not happy about it had to come to this to get the talk she might have wanted long before.
As a wife that often feels my spouse refuses to acknowledge our issues..... I would welcome him saying ... " I knew this or that was an issue but I did not realize how serious it was to you" to tell me and be open to really discussing things....... instead of placating it as stuff all couples go thru...
Counseling only works as well as the effort put into it. can also make people feel bad when they see they had a part in the breakdown of the marriage.
