Finally starting to accept that roommates hated me

In the past month, I have been able to work on accepting that two roommates ,who I shared a house with 20 years ago, were abusive on emotional and narcissistic levels. I am now able to find the closure that I was looking for without having any type of communication. Rather, I've using the right strategies to come to the acceptance that these women hated me and next to thinking they were better. Basically, they wanted to use me for things while having other unrealistic expectations. Meanwhile, I moved in there hoping to make friends with them only to get let down.

It was just brought to my attention by my counselor that I have been grieving that loss when they wanted nothing to do with me. As I have been able to accept that, it's coming to me that I have been going through a combination of bargaining, denial and anger. For the past 20 years, I have had this unrealistic expectation that maybe the three of us will "Kiss and make up" and then have a friendship outside of the roommate situation. However, I realize that probably won't happen because I know there is a good chance I could get hurt again.