Grief and rebuilding life

After three years with a man that I loved and gave my life to, he broke up with me. I didn’t set boundaries and that is what I learned from this. I gave him all of my time, put him before everything, everyone, and myself. I built my entire life around him, lived in his house, helped with his kids, met his every demand. I endured withholding, neglect, and a lot of other things that left emotional wounds. I became resentful and I coped in unhealthy ways that I regret. Then he broke up with me. Now I have to find a home, and I’m far from everyone I know. I still live with him and it’s painful. I struggle with grief, anxiety, low self esteem, and depression. I have only one friend who lives far away. I can’t afford therapy and I’m trying so hard to heal myself so I came here hoping to find support and comfort. Today’s been very hard with the sadness. I feel like I have let my kids down and that part is the hardest, the shame.