Grief with no death
TW :religious grief
Its a funny thing, grieving for huge losses of friends and family who will never talk to you again, and grieving for them even though they're still right down the street. Grieving for every day that was past, and all the missed times you'll never experience because you're no longer someone they'll socialize with. All because your beliefs are different. If you don't agree 100%, then you're labeled apostate, and then shunned because you're evil. I've not changed, I'm still me. I made sure they knew I would always be there for them, and that they are choosing this, not me. They'll go on to pat themselves on the back, saying they did the 'godly' thing by shunning me, and feel righteous in their decision. My 'friends' who I've known all my life, they'll gather together and they'll cry together about how wayward I am, gossip about any problems I've had that I shared, because I'm gone now, all my information is free to whoever wants it. And if there is one thing Jehovah's witnesses do, it's gossip. They'll reassure eachother they're doing the right thing, and that I'm the one doing this to them. All the while, they'll never think of the fact not only am I grieving the loss of an entire belief system, I also lose my entire support system. But they'll still have eachother. Even if they see me on the side of the road with a flat tire, they're no longer allowed to help me. I grieve for those friends. I grieve for the friendship I thought I had with them, something I cherished. It's all over now...and they're right down the street.
The grief you feel is unpleasant, no doubt...however, from the story you posted it sounds like a necessary part of moving on &, hopefully, improving your life. Because true friends--real friends--do not act that way as a result of someone giving up his/her belief system. Their gossip & pettiness are signs that they were never your friends to begin with, just coreligionists. A coreligionist is like a political ally: the connection between you & that person is shallow, easily ruptured--as you found out. Just because someone is nice to you in church doesn't necessarily mean (s)he will stop if (s)he sees you with your car, broke down by the roadside. I find online political communities to be the same way...your status in one depends purely on how well you conform to the group's ideology. Even a slight deviation will result in expulsion & virtual exile.
Get through the days as best you can, then move on. You don't need those JW a**holes. Also, cults suck.
@CafeGirl42
grief doesn’t have to be traditional or be the death of a friend or family member. It can be the death of good health, the death of a person or pet, the death of hopes and dreams, or the death of a friendship so you thought you had. It can take many other forms too.