Grieving the living.....
How do you go about grieving the living? I have 1 adult daughter I believe is a narcissist and has decided to make me her target..... While taking those around me with her. Nobody seems to see it care about what she's doing to me. The smear campaign is horrible. They even have family dinners and activities that I am left out of. 5 grandbabies I'll never see again (2 I'll never meet). What kind of life is this? I hate it here! I'm tired!
@gentleSkies183
I am sorry you are going through this. Family estrangement is very hard. It seems to hurt all involved but most do not see that..... in the first part.
Did something happen that caused this break ? Are you still talking? is this some sort of punishment for something she took offense to?
Most experiences i have seen (in my family also) something happened and down the road no one ever seems to clearing articulate what the thing was...
it is as if those who made choice to exclude someone stick by their decision for little more then to pretend they were Right. If is an awful road to go down as the farther you go the less likely you can find your way back.
I can't seem to reply
I think one of the hardest part about it is how they just continue to live, and they seem to do so easily without you that hurts the most.
Reading this comment was interesting for me. I am estranged from my parents by choice - I am the one who set the boundary and maintains it - and I'd bet my mother in particular feels as though I've simple moved on and am easily living without her. It's not true though. I no longer communicate with my parents because of the level of emotional abuse, but I hate not being able to have them in my life. Parents are supposed to love you, so what do you do when they don't? I struggled for years before the event that caused me to finally remove them, but I wonder if I did the right thing. My Google search history tells the story of me trying to figure out if there is a healthy way for me to still have them in my life and I haven't found it yet. Instead, as I move on from the outside, on the inside, I grieve the loss of my parents. I wish I could be the daughter they wanted, but after years of trying, I had to admit failure and seek protection for myself. I know it might look callous from the outside (and there is a level of selfishness to it), but I wouldn't have done it if I could have remained. Nobody wants to lose their parents. It's crushing - there is a special kind of guilt and grief that goes along with the choice to remove a parent from one's life that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
In the end, I don't know your story or why you are experiencing this loss of a family member, but I am immensely sorry for your estrangement. No matter what side of it you are on, it's a brutal experience and I hope for healing, for you and me both ❤️
I can so relate. Father kicked me out at 15. My mum died when I was 14. It makes u so self reliant.
My adult daughter 30 has been ghosting me since she went to uni and carries on to this day. The grief is overwhelming. I have tried everything. It's like she does not have emotions and carries on regardless. I read grief is love with no place to go. I keep the door open. That's all I can do and self care