How Do You Grieve?
My grief and loss has come out in the form of just exhaustion and self sabotage.
I don't feel any sense of enjoyment in self-care anymore; now it's just something I do as a chore to prevent life being worse than it is, so it's much easier to skip or just do a brusque or half-hearted job on it.
My dishes and laundry pile up every day, no matter how much I declutter.
I'm skeptical when people offer kind words or help: in fact at times I'm downright suspicious because if they wanted to help they'd do it and wouldn't have to ask.
All this impacts my sense of self and self esteem. I have a hard time forgiving myself for this behaviour and am quick to anger.
I balance it with being as forgiving, joyful and brave as much as I can.
Today's my birthday and I'm trying to date myself. I'm at Starbucks for their free birthday 🎆 🎂 coffee 😺☕, and went to a Diner earlier that does free birthday 🎈 breakfast.
I do self-care tarot, animal spirit cards and other spiritual pursuits, and am studying languages and cultures and whatever else piques my interest.
My career has gone on hold. I'm certified in interior decorating, event planning and occupational first aid. Attempts to start businesses have fallen flat. Maybe I'm more of a non-profit kind of girl. Is being rich evil?
Am new here so also, hi.
@communicativePond1728 Hey Happy Birthday! I know the feeling of bare minimum self care. It’s great that you were able to celebrate.
@communicativePond1728 happy birthday ❤ we all grieve differently and in our own time. So don't be to hard on yourself ❤ we are all doing the best we can. I believe you are too. Gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤
@communicativePond1728
Happy Birthday! And welcome to 7 Cups and this Community!
Being exhausted and depressed is to be expected while grieving. Be patient and kind to yourself for that.
For example, you might lower your standards for order and cleanliness in the house, and keep things at that lower standard.
It would be great if someone could help you with that. Even if you have to ask them for help. That's ok I think.
Preventing life from becoming worse sounds to me like a wise approach. Not aiming to be super happy, but preventing falling into a dark hole.
And you seem to be doing many great things to prevent things from getting worse, and even maybe improving things a bit. With a very healthy attitude.
I wish you the best in your journey.
You are welcome to come here as often as you wish to tell us how things are going, to vent, to ask questions about things that bother you, or for any other purpose.
I hope you feel at home in this Community. This place is yours, you are one of us.
See you again soon around here! 💜
Marcelo.
@HealingTalk
Yeah. I mean not falling into a dark hole sounds good, but aren't I already in one? 🤔
@communicativePond1728
You might be in a somewhat dark place now, but you are doing things, you are taking initiatives, you went to Starbucks, to that diner, you wish to have some fun watching comedies.
You are not immobilized at the bottom of a pit, you are active even while exhausted. Congratulate yourself for all those things you do!
I congratulate you for all you do!
Rupi Kaur - "Home Body"
@HealingTalk
That's true that I'm doing things...I did some positive self talk and that helped a bit, but that type of thing is a real effort for me and drops off quick.
After Starbucks and the diner I had a shower, did some laundry, deposited a cheque and went for a sandwich and another free drink, some chamomile tea, at another cafe, too, which is where I'm at now...
I've been chronically overtired, stressed and malnourished, and was threatened, abused and assaulted a lot too, and no one cares because this is a man's world, so maybe that all bogging me down?
I'm also struggling with money right now, so perhaps that too 🤔
Everyone grieves in such unique ways ❤❤😥😥😥
For myself I get extremely emotional and mentally exhausted and I've a loud voice in my grieve as well too I don't bottle it out I vent it out to those im closest too ❤❤❤❤
