I am not ready to say goodbye
My dog.. my family member... my reason for why I am still alive when when life got hard... I am not ready to say goodbye to her.
Everyone is saying that I am being selfish and that I should let her rest, that she is not having quality of life. But what does quality of life truly mean? How do I know that she does not enjoy her life? How can I make such a hard decision during this time? I do not feel ready to let my baby go.
I see her, she does not look like she used to. I see that she is less meat, more skinny, she is old, 16 years, 16x7 is 112 years. So it is not unusual that she has lost her muscle mass. She still feels like she has weight to her. She eats food greedily. She always wants to eat. My mom and aunt say that she is always hungry, that she is likely not getting the nutrients and that is why she is always hungry.. but maybe it is just she is a dog and dog love food. She ran for my cracker when it fell the other day...
Her nose is moist and I have always been taught, a moist nose is a healthy nose. Is that wrong?
I just don't understand. Her bloodwork from last month was fine when I brought her to the vet because I noticed she was skinny and the doctor said that maybe the skinny can be due to the teeth. I also pointed out the swollen lymph node and the cysts I have noticed on her skin. He said they could do an x-ray to see if there are masses inside her but that likely they could do nothing for that. So I did not do the x-ray. It cost more than I had in my bank account. The doctor did not suggest putting her down.
My cousin last week told me that if I bring Sophie to any vet in how she is and tell them that I want to put her down to rest, they will not argue.
I asked them to give me until Christmas and on Christmas, my cousin said It is Christmas, what are you doing?
I am not ready. I am scared of a life without my Sophie. I understand that my dog cannot live forever but I am scared that by putting her down, I am cutting her life short. What if there is something that can be done to help her? I don't want to give up on her. She has been here for me. I love her so much and this is going to break me.
@Hopeful0001 This is one of the hardest decisions we as pet parents ever have to make.
From what you said here, she's eating good, her blood work was good. Some dogs do lose weight as they age but that could be helped with a little extra calories. Maybe a little extra food or snacks. Maybe give her an extra meal or mix her food with some wet food. Wet food would help too if she has some bad teeth.
Puppy food has more calories that might help her gain weight. But any changes you make with her food , do it gradually. Mixing it with the food she is eating now.
Just because they're old doesn't mean it's automatically time to let them go. When she loses her zest for things like food or is in pain, then it's time to start thinking it might be best. I'm a firm believer that they have ways of letting us know that it's their time. It's not selfish to want to keep her around longer and it makes me sad that they're pushing you to make this decision. She's your dog, don't let them talk you into doing this if you feel she's not ready. ❤️ Especially if it's not even something the vet suggested.
@mytwistedsoul
It is such a hard decision. yess I feel that they are pushing, and when they push, it makes me cry, because it makes me SO sad. My momma makes fresh food for the dogs, it has gizzard, chicken liver, sweet potato, and veggies all ground up, she LOVES it. But I noticed the weight change honestly when she started on that diet but I know that food is healthy. I did buy her that fresh pet meat stuff from the grocery store. oh god, she loved it so much. She eats with so much gusto. like she LOVES the food. And she seeks me out, and cuddles me. Shes been asleep since I have been awake for the last 3 hours. But shes 16 so is normal to sleep most of the day
My aunt who is a human doctor (since retired) said that my dog peeing so much could be a sign of heart failure and like a year ago, a doctor did hear a possible heart murmur but vets have never mentioned anything else about her heart and her bloodwork would have shown if she had heart issues right?
@Hopeful0001 I do think that the blood work would have shown something like elevated proteins indicating heart stress and I think the vet would have told you if they suspected something more than a heart murmur. If she was having trouble breathing or if the vet heard fluid in her lungs. Some dogs just have problems with being incontinent as they age. Muscles get weak. Just like with people. Many elderly people have this problem too. If it's a big problem you could get her some doggie diapers to help with messes. Or even some piddle pads might help. She could have a bladder infection, that would cause her to go frequently too.
Even with the homemade fresh food there might be some nutrients that she's not getting from it, especially with her age. Maybe adding the fresh pet food will give her a little more that her body needs.
She just an old girl that needs a little extra love and attention. She seeks you out for that and yes it's normal for an older dog to sleep more but she's still showing a lot of spunkiness with eating and to me that says a lot. Every dog I've had showed me it was time when they lost interest in eating anything. Didn't matter what it was that I offered them.
@mytwistedsoul
Yeah that is what I am thinking. She wakes up from her long naps, has the peepee accident always in the kitchen, once or twice shes done it in my bed. I do have doggie pads but I think since shes going blind she dont see them much, and when she do use them, she sometimes goes on the corner so she makes a mess lol. Dog diapers I will need to look into.
My aunt was saying that she noticed that my dog sometimes struggles with holding herself up, she said that Sophie trips on her own feet, but old people do that too and old people are not put down for that. It just is so hard to think that for things that we humans deal with and survive from, I have to put Sophie down for? Like you say, she has appetite and her ***. She does not really play much anymore and I do miss that but shes old and tired
@Hopeful0001
The stars is her spunky ness without the y and ness.
@Hopeful0001 I had a dog that was similar with making messes. Deaf and blind and had dog dementia. It was hard. The diapers really helped and they're not too expensive (walmart or amazon have the best prices). When she got to where she didn't want to eat and was really getting lost in the house, I knew it was time. That's when the quality of her life wasn't what it should be. Your girl is still eating and drinking and searching you out for cuddles. To me that says a lot!
A lot of dogs lose strength in their back legs because of age. Even if she struggles - she's still doing it. She's just slowed down. She doesn't sound as though she's suffering in anyway and she's not in any pain.
There are lots of people that have elderly dogs that they care for. It's hard and it's extra work but they're a member of the family and they're loved. We go that extra mile for them. Fresh pet makes a dogfood that has some cranberries in it, that might help in case she has a UTI and that's making her pee more. It's probably just her age though.
I really am sorry that your family is pushing you to make a decision on her. I know it hurts and it hurts to see them getting older. You're a good pet parent and you're doing what feels right to you for her. You're not selfish for wanting her to be with you for longer 💜 It's just so sad that you said give you til christmas and on that day a cousin asks what you're going to do... I say - take it day by day with her. Cherish each day. Give her lots of hugs and love and cuddles. Take each moment as it comes. I think you'll know when it's time (offers safe hugs) Give her a cuddle for me please?
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you, I have been working from home all day today so she has been in the bed with me all day. Her head is up right now, she is paying attention to all the sounds around her. I agree that the elderly dogs just need some more TLC. I wish that my aunt would stop comparing my dog to the one she put down years ago.. my aunt put her dog down when the dog was 20 years. I definitely see signs of blind and possible doggy dementia.
I gave her many cuddles.
@Hopeful0001 Her comparing her dog with your dog is just as wrong as comparing people. Every creature and human is different and unique.
@mytwistedsoul
Yes, I think so, she is unique. She is a little slower than usual but she still has what makes her well her. And yes if they did it behind my back, I would never forgive them. It would be hard to look into their eyes honestly.
@Hopeful0001 oh this is always heartbreaking😥 you know Sophie better than anyone else so you will know when the time comes to say goodbye to her💖 however hard that is you will know in your heart what to do. To me she sounds like she's hanging on in there, she's still healthy just a old lady now🙂💖 death unfortunately is a natural part of life, but losing our babies is something we can never prepare ourselves for😥 thank God for 7 cups, a place where we understand what your going through and can help support you through it all💖 hugs you tightly 💖 don't let people push you to much💖
@Tinywhisper11
Hugs, thank you, I am trying to avoid the pushing. I am afraid that they will take Sophie one day and take the decision out of my hands
@Hopeful0001 I hope that never happens😥 remember we are all here for you 💖
@Tinywhisper11
I hope not. Thank you
@Hopeful0001 💖💖💖
@Hopeful0001 Its hard to give someone up - to be put in that position of whats your choice is painful. I see how much you care about your cat xx
@JasGab200519970
She is a dog but yes I care deeply.
@Hopeful0001 Yes - I read it carefully - she’s still someone to you ❤️
@Hopeful0001 I see your profile pic distracted me and I wrote cat instead of dog whoops
@Hopeful0001 To save you from correcting me again your profile pic is specifically a tiger 🐯
@JasGab200519970
haha yes :) it is a tiger
thanks for the support.
Your dogs body will tell you when it's time. They will stop eating or not be able to relieve themselves (squatting). I had a 16 year old cat with bone cancer in her face. She still wanted to eat, but her jaws stopped working so she was then in pain and anxiety and it was her time.
Go easy on yourself. From what I've read, your dog is elderly, but it doesn't sound like Sophie is slowing down. Just because she is elderly is not a reason to euthanize. Tell your family to back off and Sophie will make the decision when the time comes. You will know.
Sending you positive energy for peace and strength. 🌹
@Anirbas2025
Thank you! :3 my aunt went home, and my dad seems to be understanding that I am not ready. They seem to be backing off for now. I told my dad that I think Sophie looks like she is less boney, like still not perfect, but I think shes got weight. Shes asleep on me right now. And yess she can squat/pee... she has lots of accidents but what elderly animal doesnt have it..
I gave sophie a bath today in the sink, then I cuddled her. I also washed her blankets. She slept in them for a few hours before waking up and staring up at me and begging without words for up. I am a softie and she is up. I love herrrrr
Awww... that is so sweet. Doesn't sound like she's in any pain. I would snuggle love her and give her nose boops. Much love. ❤️
@TonyaD39
I give her so many nose boops. I have to make a vet appointment cause she needs a nail clipping... she struggle to walk... I waited too long. I am worried about the vet judging me, i hope the vet doesnt think im a bad dog mommy
Awww... that is so sweet. Doesn't sound like she's in any pain. I would snuggle love her and give her nose boops. Much love. ❤️