I had enough... enough of this *** from everyone in my school

Viewer discretion adviced just in case: dark thoughts including violence, etc

Please.. do not say about forgiveness or anything

I'm speaking all truth

I I'm in 8th grade currently, getting close to graduate soon (2 weeks from now), I thought everything would be calm and peaceful before all of this... mess happens

what happened was I got extorted, framed, used as a resource, manipulated, gaslighted, forced into bets, had my boundaries crossed

And now I'm experiencing severe psychological stress, I'm performing less academically

I sacrificed my sleep schedule, my meals and diet, my health just to teach my class a programming is but... all of my efforts are wasted away

if you may ask how this happened it was on 05/14-15

the girl who framed me or rather did all of this has done to me was casually sitting with me and also her physics project was something else but I didn't really care (this might turned into irrelevant)

later on by afternoon when she playing with her color clay and asked me for my water bottle and I asked her why do you want it and she said why not

after I passed it down to her few times and she said "Why did you give me your water bottle" and I felt a sense of something was coming up.

by moving forward 2-3 hours from that it's a English class/subject already

it was a English test/exam and it was simple

I'm the group leader in English subjects and well.. *** happened

as I mentioned my psychological stress before, I used a belt to quiet down the class and I never hit anyone at all, just keeping them at Bay all time, even I had to slam my desk and I was also distracted to give a test meanwhile, but also someone in my group asked your pants is pulling down and I said "I have a shorts" and I pulled it to show it was a fully white P.E shorts and I wear double clothing to feel secure, because I had a history of being bullied constantly before through out junior year/grade

in that moment

The girl, She asked a help from me to chest in the test/exam while it was a simple and I refused to help anyone because I was tired, I'm tired of helping anyone

and she handed me a paper.. scrap paper in fact.

The exact text I wrote was

"Request Denied"

she: (verbally) ",help me out please"

"Nope"

she: (on the paper) "I'll be your slave for 24 hours"

(And this... is the exact moment, *** hits the fan... and I get into trouble )

I said/wrote "No thanks, even if you become sex slave, very no for me, thanks :(" with pencil. (keep in mind my handwriting is soft)

and that day tomorrow afternoon, Social worker called me to office and said I violated human rights and said she's not feeling safe to be with you.. and that's I snapped inside... like WHAT THE ***?

LIKE LITERALLY EVERYTHING SHE DID, TOOK, FORCED ME INTO BETS LIKE OH MY...

ironically... the social worker said something I don't really remember doing against teacher like WHO IS HE TRYING TO GET ME INTO?

I had to wear fake smile, cheeky passive aggressive tone entire time in social worker office and he never looked for the root cause but instead "quick-fix" disciplinary action he used... I'm not letting this slide at all...

afterwards...

The girl who framed me literally going aggressive on me and making her look like she's on top of the food chain and ***..

Like.. I swear, that ***! wants to emotionally drain me.. abuse me even further

2 weeks after all this

I got sleep deprivation, pressure from graduation exam, pressure from this *** *** fraudulent, frequent mental breakdown, physical health issues like rectal bleeding, gastroenterological issues, my memories and brain got tattood by this moment, everything she did.

IRONICALLY

SHE HAD A AUDICITY TO SAY "You almost made me switch another school because of YOU" SHE SAID... AND WHOLE GROUP DECIDED TO PIGGYBACK HER BECAUSE OF HER LIES...

AND IN FACT. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME GETTING HANDS AS A AUTHORITY, I NEVER GOTTEN CHANCE OF LEARNING FROM JUNIOR YEARS

***'s sake, every day and every night I keep getting intrusive, dark thoughts containing torture, murder, slaughter, everything that is unimaginable...

I'm not planning to do these in fact.. but I kept getting feelings something worse gonna happen

I been labeled as homosexual despite I'm not

I been labeled as mental just because I'm stressed psychologically

I been locked too much

I been bullied since when I was first grade (especially girls)

I been manipulated too much

I just need to be heard... not just get reported immediately...

I'm desperate for help.. I couldn't even release this into my parents because I was raised under Marxism-Leninism parents

I can't open up my feelings, my thoughts, only doomscrolling or go empty and numb

I tried to take action on these weeks but failed because I relied in my English teacher too much...

I became almost mute, fully numb, all around the edge filled with adrenaline, rage

my everyday actions feels like aggression...

She goes like nothing happened

while I go some *** happened to me and I experienced shellshock and PTSD.. In fact, I'm experiencing what I shouldn't be having at my childhood

I'm still safe... not fully safe... still will do enough

dont tell me to fix myself... I had enough of critizism, complains, negativities, bad student environment, hesitation