Missing
Here lately I'm missing my mom. Through the anger an hurt I'm missing her. Its always a back an forth. Between her suicide, the lack of healthy relationship, an just her death. I'm missing her.
@placidPlane1200
It sounds like you had a difficult relationship with her, but regret not having an opportunity to do what you could to help heal it. That you still miss her, indicates a willingness to forgive, even if it may be difficult. My dad died by the slow suicide of addiction. Our relationship was far from healthy, but I miss him too.
Such tragic separation leaves emotional scars, and pain that one hopes will become manageable. That usually happens, but even then certain events or circumstances can re-awaken the grief. In my experience, such re-awakenings are episodic, so between the episodes, it really does become more manageable.
I'm sorry you had to experience such a loss. It seems we've both had bittersweet lessons in empathy.
Indeed we had a very complicated relationship she to was an active alcoholic...Her suicide has ripped the bandaid off alot of the wounds she's left. So I struggle between love an hurt..an at the end of the day she was still my mom. So yeah I go through times that I just miss her. I wish I could say I miss the sober part or the sain part ...but there was never that part. So I can just say I miss her.
