Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
  1. Forum
  2. Grief & Loss
  3. My dad is in the hospital and I’m not sure if he will make it

My dad is in the hospital and I’m not sure if he will make it

User Profile: fallingmirrors
fallingmirrors December 12th, 2023

My dad has end stage kidney disease and is starting dialysis. His first three treatments have gone horribly. The first one paralyzed his legs for hours, the second one took all his energy, and the third one made him delirious for almost 12 hours. He went into uncontrollable rage and had to be restrained in the hospital.


After he snapped out of it he seems like a completely different person. He can’t speak straight and is very forgetful. They said he has some swelling in his brain and pneumonia as well.


The uncertainty and constant bad news is absolutely killing me inside, I haven’t been able to eat or sleep I’m losing weight and can’t do anything productive. I want my dad to live but I don’t want him to suffer or be miserable. I am trying my best to be strong for everyone else but on my own I am suffering so bad watching this unfold and I feel like I wont ever be able to recover…

2
User Profile: mytwistedsoul
mytwistedsoul December 12th, 2023

@fallingmirrors I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. When they first get the diagnosis of their failing health from the doctors and share it with family. It seems so unreal and maybe like me you thought - they've made so many advances in medicine this can be fixed - they'll beat this and get better. And you watch them slowly get worse and worse. But you try to stay positive for them and everyone else. You keep your concerns and fears to yourself and try to be strong for everyone else. Maybe because you don't want to add to what they're already feeling. Maybe it's just hard to share what you're feeling with people


Will the swelling in his brain go down? If it does will that help with his speech and forgetfulness? 

I know I used to dread any noise my phone would make. It always brought bad news. I walked around with this odd feeling in my stomach that made it hard to eat. My suggestion is to try smaller meals a couple times a day. Even just a few bites here and there are better than nothing. Milkshakes are good for calories. Too much weight loss will compromise your immune system and the last thing you want is to get sick with a cold or something. 
Sleep has always been a problem for me so I'm not sure what to suggest for that. Do you go to church that maybe you could talk to a minister or preacher about what your struggling with? Hospitals have chaplains you might be able to talk with. They may have support groups they could suggest too
This is a good place to share things too. In the chat rooms or maybe a listener. And of course in the forums 
I really am sorry about your dad. I know going through all this isn't easy and it can feel really really lonely. I hope things with the dialysis smooth out and he has an easier time going through it. Try to take care of yourself ok? 
User Profile: windchimes1991
windchimes1991 December 13th, 2023

@fallingmirrors

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope your dad will make a full recovery.

I lost my dad to cancer in 2006. I was 15. It caused me to stay back a grade. But I was relieved that he wasn't suffering anymore. I could tell that he was going to pass away. My mom was in denial. I believe he is okay now. He seemed to visit me in two dreams.


*Support Forum Disclaimer
Community updates
My communities
Community guidelines
Report an issue
Talk to an expert therapist
So far things have been going well we’re still in the beginning stages, but...
Reviewed Jul 31, 2026
Talk to Carmichah Now