My dog passed in my arms this early morning

I had scheduled an appointment to take Sophie to the vet to be put to sleep. The appointment was set for 10:30am.

I was holding Sophie since I finished work yesterday and then I woke up with her at 2am, I had noticed she threw up the food on my pillow. I cleaned it up and took Sophie with me to the couch where I sat with her.

Sophie was pressed against me and I could feel her heartbeat and her breathing/groaning still. The heartbeat was going so fast.

I don't know when it happened exactly. I just know that when I stood up at about 5am, she was gone. I double checked. I could not feel or hear her heart beating anymore, there was no air coming out of her mouth, and jarring movements did not cause her to groan anymore.

Her eyes looked so lifeless. I had to gently close her eyelids to make it look like she is sleeping.

I was ready but I also was not ready to lose her. She has been a part of me since I was 14 and I am 30. 

For many years, Sophie has been the sole reason for not giving up. Especially after my grandfather passed away in 2019, Sophie was my rock. 

I have her wrapped up in a blanket next to me on the bed. I still have that scheduled appointment for 10:30 but I am going to call once it is 8am and explain what has happened. I have never done this before. My last dog was put down by my parents when I was away for college 10 years ago.

Sophie

December 18 2009 - March 26 2026

Beloved pet. Amazing emotional support animal.

I hope you are playing with all the squeaky toys up in heaven now.

I have a bag with your collar and your toys and I don't know if I keep them for the future when I am ready for another or if I send them away with you.

I miss you so much Sophie and it has only been a few hours.