grief

Hi everyone, I’m really struggling to deal with the loss of my dad, he passed at the start of the year due to cancer. I’m only 16 and it’s just so confusing. like it’s changed me so much. I don’t remember anything. I feel like my mind has blocked out before he passed and even to this day, I don’t know, life is like “not real” if you will. kind of just a daze. It’s hard everyday, but I guess people have seemed to move on around me. I find myself thinking about life after death. And I’m not Christian but I couldn’t imagine my father just having no part of me like not watching over me. If someone brings up his passing or somthing in day time or just out, I feel like it’s okay to talk about like idk but when I’m alone it’s hits so hard. it’s weird. I don’t know, this is just kind of a vent. I don’t know anyone grieving and maybe some advice would be nice thanks.