it's only been 3 days since I lost her

hi, I just lost my long distance best friend 3 days ago, for some people it might seem that long distance  friends don't have any meaning or are not a special, but, she was just the best friend I've ever had in my entire life, she helped me with everything and I helped her too but I guess it was just not enough, I mean I'm not a professional and I'm not trained to help people but I thought I had helped her but it looks like I didn't actually did so, as I said 3 days ago she just told me that she was sorry and that she couldn't keep up with everything that was going on around her and that her mind was so *** up and she just turned her phone off or just blocked me and I couldn't text her or call her and she hasn't answered, there's a chance that she still alive but all her other social media are deleted and I was hoping it could find her mom's profile or her brother's profile but I couldn't, also I searched in the news of her country to see if it had made it there but most countries don't put all of the suicide things on the news so I don't know what I was hoping for, I just wanted someone I could talk to because I'm still a minor and I don't have the money for a therapy session, my mom is just telling me that I should stop crying and that she doesn't want to hear me crying again or she'll hit me but I just wanted someone to talk to about this