A Moderator's Perspective On 'Trolls'
Ive been a group moderator on the teen side for about eight months or so now and theres a word I see flying around a lot: troll. I see it used in many ways.
Example 1: I see it used as a noun.
Youre such a troll, just leave.
Example 2: I see it used as a verb.
Why do you have to troll? Your story changes all the time, if youre going to lie do it right.
I'm not going to lie, I'm no angel. I've been on the other side. When I first joined I looked at people and just wondered why they even bothered to come here if they only came to hurt others. Then I got to thinking and remembered something as I spent more time as a listener:
People have many reasons for the things they do. When I ask people to mute someone whos upsetting them, they refuse. Why? Ill ask. I want to see what they say about me. Then when you see it you respond angrily instead of allowing me to moderate and control the situation, thus making it worse. I understand that you want to be respected. Please respect others in the chat as well by ignoring them when they are going through a rough patch.
People have many reasons for the things they do. People come to this site for support. Yes, it can be quite upsetting seeing someone come into a chat and make others upset. It happens. Thats part of life. Disrespecting them will not cause them to stop, it will only upset them in turn and cause them to act out maliciously. It doesn't solve the problem, it makes it worse. Lead, be an example.
People have many reasons for the things they do. Sometimes people come into the chatrooms with stories that seem hard to believe. Sometimes you wont believe them. Who are you to say theyre untrue?
They said something that contradicts this yesterday.
And? Who cares about yesterday? You dont know whats going on in their mind, you dont know what they go through.
People have many reasons for the things they do. I understand where youre coming from. You feel the need to "call someone out" because what theyre saying contradicts previous statements. Tell me this:
What do you gain from this?
Perhaps they have dissociative disorders. Perhaps they have something that affects them so badly they dont even know the reality around them. Perhaps no one can control what happens to them. Not even themselves.
People have many reasons for the things they do. Someone enters the chat. They are rude. They are disrespectful. Feelings are hurt. Smiles fade. Insults are thrown at them.
Youre a horrible person.
What makes you any different from them?
Perhaps they dont know kindness.
Maybe if you show them how to be nice theyll follow.
People have many reasons for the things they do.
Alright.
You win.
Lets say for a moment that they are lying.
They are making up a problem for attention.
Theyre human. Humans want attention. Humans need attention.
If they are so deprived of attention in their daily life that they feel the need to lie to get it from complete strangers who know nothing about them just to feel like theyre worth it…
Then whats the harm in giving them attention? Letting them know people out there care?
People have many reasons for the things they do.
I empathize with people in the chat you see as the ‘bad guys.
I dont know their names. I dont know their lives. I dont know their stories.
I know theyre just like you.
I know theyre just like me.
They only want support. They only want someone to care.
Who am I to deny that?
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Nonono I mean I get that some so called trolls can maybe not be but there ARE people who come into there for the sole purpose of hurting people. People who tell people to kill themselves and then laugh at their reaction. People who pretend to be a member's abusive ex to strike fear and pain into them. People who sit perched in a particular room every day and wait to strike an attack on a fresh and vulnerable newcomer, or just someone who's going through a hard time. People who say very clearly that they come on here for entertainment and not support.
I have no pity for those people.
@Phthalo I agree. I don't use the support rooms but the very little few times I did enter previously, it wasn't enjoyable.
@Diandra Respect and empathy is an important part of group support, when others are also needing an ear to listen. Some of the points you listed are very reasonable and should be reflected upon. However, the fact remains that some people come to these rooms with malicious or disruptive reasons. Whether you want to call them a troll or someone who could be struggling with a mental condition, it's imperative to remember the goal is providing a safe and welcoming atmosphere for the majority. The reason why I say the majority and not all is because some problems are beyond 7cups ability to help. Besides the therapy options, 7cups does not offer professional support. Some also may benefit from a more personalized help by contacting a listener for a 1-1 chat. I agree with those who feel muting doesn't help. It's really unfair to be forced to mute while others are allowed to freely say something against you. Having a bad day is no excuse for that and should not be excused. It sounds more like a form of victim blaming than an actual resolution. I've also unfortunately seen the support rooms overrun by gossip and insulting remarks, rather than providing a place to vent. That is ultimately why I stopped entering them without a guided discussion in progress.
To try and create a utopia by catering to those that are disruptive, you are really deviating away from the main goal. If respectful dialogue cannot be reached, it is the job of a moderator to find a peaceful resolution. Questioning the definition of the term "troll" is something I have previously seen posted. While it's a nice examination, there are those who do fall into the troll category.
Ultimately, I really do respect your perspective. If it helps increase the amount of empathy in support rooms, while still providing a safe and welcoming atmosphere, the more the better!
Troll: To antagonize (others) online by deliberately posting inflammatory, irrelevant, or offensive comments or other disruptive content
@Phthalo
Aye, those people are completely separate from this post. As this is the internet there are people like that, but the thing is we never know who is who. And as I've said before, as a teen I've likely not seen anyone who is like that; just troubled teenagers who feel bad and lash out because they feel unwanted. I can see where you're coming from, of course, and I won't try to change your perspective; I value your opinion and your point of view as an adult member with a perspective I'm not yet mature enough to form. Personally I've never seen someone pretend to be someone's ex, but I completely believe what you say and it doesn't surprise me; it doesn't sound very "out there," so to speak. I'm really sorry you saw that happen to someone / someone did that to you, that just seems disturbing.
@Phthalo
Agreed. There is a HUGE difference between someone who visits the chat support rooms and has a very bad day or even a reaction to something that is going on in their lives then taking it out on the room versus a person (career troll) that spews vile comments at new members, listeners, and regular members within the room simply to get a reaction and attention. There is no room on 7 Cups of Tea for someone who strategically and maliciously plans then proceeds to attack members and listeners on the site, period. Our support rooms include people that are sometimes going through a crisis, need an intervention, or simply people to talk to that can help them bridge a problem they are having. The last thing those people need is someone that hurls insults, derogatory, inflammatory, and even vile comments at them repeatedly. This includes creating additional accounts in the member or listener's likeness to mock them within the room. This includes racist, hate speech, encouraging vile discussions, and especially gaining room "sympathy" and encouragement to continue with their antics.
For many, 7 Cups of Tea is an oasis or a refuge. It's a place for them to talk without fear of ridicule or belittling.
The issues that the career troll has are beyond 7 Cups of Tea's level of support and it should not be encouraged or promoted that we are in any way ok with that level of behavior.
I agree that not stoking the fire will help moderators do their job more efficiently. That being said, this isn't a playground, and the playground monitors can't stop every fight. I think there should be some sort of confidence building for these people who deal with trolls and cannot fight back.
Imo, ignoring it, doesn't make it better. It's waving the white flag in front of the bully.
Is that what you really want? How can people recover when they're being forced to surrender?
@YourTearsAreDelicious
Waving the white flag in front of the bully, in my opinion, would be lashing out and then becoming so frustrated with the argument you're chased out of the support room. Fighting fire with fire doesn't make more fire; it causes back burning. You both use up all of the fuel until neither of you can stay.
I may be wrong, but maybe teens can walk away easier because insults aren't as personal. Insults are usually generic or the result of an emotional outburst. Or who knows, perhaps adult minds work differently than teen minds.
@Diandra
It sounds like you condone troll behavior. It also sounds like you want those who are being bullied, to feel that they don't have a voice. You're basically telling them to bow down. They aren't allowed to be sensitive and vulnerable.
How does that help anyone suffering from self-esteem and confidence issues? How does that help them with recovering with their struggle?
Not allowing people to resolve issues with others, will keep others from feeling that they would ever see progress in their recovery.
@Diandra
I am really glad to see this thread which you've created, it is very important and spreads the word that "Everyone is fighting a battle which you may not know about" So what if people say something which contradicts what they said the day before? Humans certainly do need attention and 7Cups provides that.
I think what some people forget in the group support rooms is that the people who you are connecting with are real people. They have problems, along with everyone else in the world. We are all fighting our own personal problems. Real people deserve to be treated with respect, regardless of whether they've lied about their situation. How are we supposed to know? This is all through a screen, and I'm sure, if it were in real life, people would be a lot more supportive.
People lie because they are going through a tough time. They need attention and have no other way of getting support for what they are going through. It's not easy saying that you "need attention" because people are often scared about others responses. People may jump to conclusions and blurt out that they are "attention seekers" before even trying to understand...
Thank you for writing this insightful post, it really got me thinking. 
